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How much should you Pay for a Thai Dowry

Getting married in Thailand can be both a cheap and an expensive affair. The Thai Dowry is the most expensive part of getting married and as Thai people see it, the Dowry is the payment made to the parents who spent years raising their daughter, it is considered that once the daughter goes off with the husband that she is no apart of his family and little to do with theirs. The big but in this case is if the husband happens to be a foreigner.

How much should you Pay for a Thai Dowry

For foreigners however it's typically the case that the parents of the bride fork the bill for the wedding and that the mans family typically spends little, this is because being fair, it's more often than not that the bride is the one who wants the special day to be extra special and not the groom, so in most cases it's the bride and the brides family that pays the cost of the wedding.

In Thailand being true also that the woman wants the fancy wedding and it's true, but the groom has to pay for it! Hence the dowry which is to offset the cost of the wedding. These days however the dowry is more common as a keepsake of the past and that typically the dowry paid is more often than not returned to the groom and the grooms family as a sign of good faith between the families. The dowry is typically displayed as gold bullion, jewelry and cash at the time of the wedding and returned once all the festivities are over.

Greedy Thai parents however will not return one cent of the Thai Dowry and will keep everything that was originally agreed upon, not only this days after the wedding it's been said that the brides family demand more money and ongoing maintenance fees for the family. This is bogus and if you've married into a family that does this then good luck, they shouldn't be asking anything and in fact you shouldn't even see them, you need to be strong and simply say no, what they are asking for and demanding is wrong and against Thai culture, they are simply taking advantage of you because you are a Farang.

The dowry also known as "sin sod" is also a way to say to the parents of the bride that the groom is financially able to take care of the daughter which is why it is mostly returned. It's not uncommon though for the parents of the bride to return the dowry and instead demand lifetime monthly payments instead. It's often cheaper to pay the dowry but then if you do then also expect that the brides parents will eventually ask for more money down the road. If you can get away with not paying anything at all would be a miracle but also think about this, your new wife loves her parents and probably has younger or older siblings that need to be taken care of as well, they are your family now too so don't you want the best for them as well? If your wife's family go down the tube, be sure to think so will yours.

How much do Thai men pay for a Dowry

The amount of the dowry for a Thai man varies depending on the age of the girl he intends on marrying, her status, and her families status. Typically if a woman has been married before or has kids then no dowry should be paid at all. You wouldn't pay for a opened can of beans would you? This is the same for Foreigners however for the dowry for Thai men and Foreigners is typically the same, hence the reason why there are so many unmarried Thai men in Thailand, it's simply because they lack the funds to pay for the dowry.

1,000,000 one million baht plus for someone like a movie star or daughter of high ranking official.

200,000 two hundred thousand baht for an educated Thai from middle class family

40,000 forty thousand baht for a typical farm girl

sin sod Thai Dowry สินสอด

Typical Thai Dowry

How much do Foreigners pay for a Dowry in Thailand

The cost of the dowry for foreigners who marry Thai women should be the same as that of a Thai man, however they will often look at you and think you have way more money than you do because you come from overseas and will more often than not ask for more than what is expected. Thais view the dowry as a sort of Social Security or old age pension, that's why Thai girls are revered here because they bring in the bucks when it's time to move on and why Thai parents protect their girls so much. A girl running around loose and not studying is like a girl who is worth nothing. Thai parents want to protect their daughter as much as they can so they can get the money they think they are deserved.

Most foreigners pay in dowry about 300,000 - 400,000 thousand baht. This is typically made in gold bars jewelry and cash, if you don't negotiate on the sale of their daughter then your just stupid. Everything in Thailand is a negotiation and that also includes the Dowry or the sale of the Thai parents daughter. Make sure you negotiate, your wife will probably have a good say in this too and if you can negotiate your money back after the expenses of the wedding then power to you.

Finally a Dowry is simply a tradition that is passed on from generation to generation and in no way is it legally binding or mean that you are actually married, in fact when you register your marriage nothing is ever asked about the Dowry and how much you paid, as soon as the money has left your hands and into the parents of the bride is considered a gift. The woman may even decide not to even marry you and you'd be left heartbroken as well as a few quid short. Always consult with a lawyer regarding giving a dowry because as much as you love her, there are many stories of men falling in love in Thailand, paying a Dowry and never seeing their bride or money again, be warned.

Final comment on how much to pay for a Thai dowry is think about it like a wedding ring, in the west you would pay one whole months wages for the wedding right, if you make $4000 a month before tax then that's how much you would pay for the ring. The same could be said about the Dowry but it's more than the ring, lets say you make 30,000 baht per month, the dowry should be 3 times what you make per month or 90,000 baht. Let it be known that's what you make and what you can afford to pay, if the parents won't allow it and are too stubborn, then maybe you've picked the wrong girl to marry.


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About Chris

Chris founded LivingThai.org in 2011 and has received over 3 million visitors. He has lived here for over 10 years and speaks reads and writes very good Thai.

78 Responses to How much should you Pay for a Thai Dowry

  1. Eric December 13, 2011 at 9:28 am #

    Another great bit of info he gives us…

    Hail to Chris..

    • Niwat August 21, 2020 at 12:32 pm #

      I see whit my eays somthing amazing, what happend in a farmer family. I can explain only in confidentiality way… Poor girls😥😥😥😥😥

  2. Charles February 28, 2012 at 12:00 pm #

    Follow your heart.

  3. pogo May 14, 2012 at 1:27 pm #

    A friend of mine came up with a perfect solution. While discussing sin sod with his future father in law, he admitted that he was not wealthy and was embarrassed that he had no money to give. He suggested that he write a check for a large amount that would not be able to be cashed. The father would gain face for having a “wealthy” son in law and the farang would not lose face for being poor. Win-win for both.

    • Chris May 14, 2012 at 3:13 pm #

      awesome idea thanks dude

      • erik October 22, 2012 at 12:46 pm #

        ok if u are a smooth talker i guess…

  4. JB October 20, 2012 at 2:35 pm #

    Sin soot is utter bullshit. I would not pay a penny for any woman, no matter how beautiful. If she was unusually smart, holding a steady, well-paying job, yes, I can understand it, but for most girls and women, that is not an issue. Some help to the family, only warranted if the relationship develops along, and in times of need, not for just any reason.
    I didn’t pay one baht for my current wife, but then again, she is not that young anymore, has the IQ of an average yard bird, and talks incessantly.

    • Chris October 20, 2012 at 3:03 pm #

      55555555555555

    • Derek October 20, 2012 at 5:23 pm #

      OMFG, Chris get this guy to do a few guest posts for you, inject some great humour to the site.

    • Jake October 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm #

      “Get what you pay for.” 😀

    • Eric November 8, 2012 at 4:10 am #

      5555555

    • SS January 29, 2015 at 6:59 am #

      you sound like an abusive ass! if you don’t like her then get a divorce. What a terrible thing to say about someone you call your wife and someone you are suppose to love and respect.. if you have none of those feelings then you don’t deserve her.

    • fred June 1, 2015 at 4:21 pm #

      Sorry but you pay for the ring

  5. MagicMax October 21, 2012 at 8:20 am #

    “she is not that young anymore, has the IQ of an average yard bird, and talks incessantly.”

    I can’t believe someone would admit to that!

    • erik October 22, 2012 at 12:56 pm #

      cmon… we all know that most are a bit…. “slow”
      for want of a better word.. it is they way things are here….
      the schooling.. the upbringing.. the goverment control and all the rest.. but hey, the girls have a certain sweet charm to them… we know that…

      yes, some seem dumb as a doornail sure…

      • MagicMax October 23, 2012 at 7:25 am #

        Well actually, my lady is young, sharp as a knife and only talks incessantly with her friends or when she get’s pissed (not so often nowadays)!

  6. Andy October 22, 2012 at 8:58 pm #

    ok fine i’ll pay the dowry and the girl in return will pay dowry to my dad
    and mom! seriously the sin sod is b.s. and unless you are 60 year old
    marrying 20 year old there is no need to pay, you will
    financially support your wife and family anyway.
    So if i marry a thai girl it means i will take care (also financially) of my parents, her parents, the wife, the kids, myself and probably some brothers or cousins lurking in the backyard?
    probably should start saving…

  7. Pete November 7, 2012 at 5:08 pm #

    OK I understand the negotiation part. I got my 21 yo Thai g/f knocked up about 4 weeks ago. I live in USA and am not wealthy or liquid with the measly assets I do have. She saying the parents want 500,000 bhat for their daughter. My problem is she talking about abortion which I am totally against… She is uneducated, living with mom, dad, 1 sister an 1 brother. All 3 kids sleep in same room. This seems ridiculous to me as we will need all our (my) money just to support our small family. When I told her i read about sin soot an quoted your numbers above she said.. you not want to marry because 500,000b ok. you can work USA… ohh brother! But I love her an want the baby…

    • Chris November 7, 2012 at 9:43 pm #

      Talk to the parents tell them you’ll send them money for the rest of their lives ect they’ll be happy with that trust me. Uneducated 3 kids in the same bedroom you should expect to pay about 9000 baht a month if you live in the USA and 5000 baht a month if you live here. That would not be unreasonable.

    • Andy November 12, 2012 at 4:31 pm #

      tell them ok but your parents want sin sod too, 500K dollars, plus gold
      house, car, moped. why not? 🙂

    • charlieboz July 14, 2013 at 3:15 am #

      Tell her that is fine; she has gotten pregnant to a farang and will have had either an abortion or a child. No other thai guy is going to be silly enough to pay anywhere near that amount for what thai’s will think of as ‘spoiled goods’.
      The only reason she wants that much money is to gain face in front of her village. If that is more important to her than you and her child’s future then you should count yourself lucky if it causes you to split

    • Charlie October 10, 2014 at 10:28 pm #

      She probably got pregnant from her brother. Happens alot with those
      rice farmers. Then they blame it on a stupid Farang to save face.

  8. gentleman March 2, 2013 at 4:21 pm #

    i’m thai man and i totally disagree with this act

    • Chris March 3, 2013 at 6:23 am #

      Thanks for your comment, could you be more specific and let us know what you disagree with and why?

  9. Evangelion Chai March 20, 2013 at 6:23 pm #

    Chris. Are you still alive? I need your help. Can I ask why we need to pay 300k bath for dorey? Hows can negotiate with their parent? Need advice ya. Thanks.

    • Chris March 20, 2013 at 7:06 pm #

      Do you have to pay for the wedding on top of that? If so i think that’s reasonable, but if you can’t pay then I’d say talk to the elders explain your situation and feelings and stand by them. Normally a compromise can be found, you have to show something though.

  10. Charlie October 10, 2014 at 10:24 pm #

    A Dowry is paid to a Thai family, as well as in several other countries that I know of,
    if and only if the girl is a virgin or was when you met her and you were the only
    one that has “had” her. Any foreigner that pays a Dowry to a whore’s family is
    truely an idiot.
    I have been married to two Thai women and never paid any Dowry and never
    would. Well, maybe if she was a 16 year old virgin !

  11. Geo Bof June 14, 2015 at 8:18 pm #

    Dowry is an incorrect term in this case. A dowry is a sum or property paid to the groom by the bride’s family in some cultures. What is discussed here is the Bride Price, or in Thai, sin sod.

  12. jason July 29, 2015 at 5:52 pm #

    Im planning on marrying a girl in her early 30’s she has average job and has been married before and also had a kid. She mentioned I must to pay sin sod to her family. How much would be fair in this situation?

    • Chris October 24, 2015 at 2:56 pm #

      30+ with kid, 20k baht bro that’s it!

    • silas82 January 8, 2016 at 11:41 pm #

      I think the best is to first ask her what is the amount that they are looking at. From there u can discuss. Before meeting for the discussion, do set a number in your mind which u are most comfortable giving. If you can only afford 20000 baht then so be it. But if you can afford 300 000 it’s even better. It’s not about paying but more of giving. I’m not sure about married women and having kids, but my wife was older than me and is in the mid thirties. I agree on giving 300 000 baht. Well that’s actually 6 times of my monthly income at that time. It really depends on you. I hope my experience helps.

  13. silas82 January 8, 2016 at 11:35 pm #

    Well I married a Thai as well. First of all, a sinsot is more like a cultural tradition for thai Marriages. Secondly, yes of course you could marry without a sinsot, but bear in mind that it means u wouldn’t be having a Thai wedding. I do not agree with sinsot being labelled as B.S as it is a culture being passed down since generations. If you don’t like the culture which Thai people practice, why even bother marrying a Thai in the first place? U should marry someone which shares the same culture as yours (perhaps somebody from back home).
    I didn’t have much money for sinsot, and I told my mother in law about this and therefore we agreed to have our wedding in my home town first. At the same time I also promised her that I would have another Thai traditional wedding with the sinsot present in the near future without even setting a date. She obliged and I’m still looking forward to have my Thai wedding in her hometown.
    Be respectful of other cultures if you intend to marry them. U wouldn’t like other people to call your culture B.S would u?
    And for those who puts down their wife with such description, shame on you. I hope your father never said the same thing about your mom.

    • professor August 4, 2016 at 6:07 pm #

      blah blah blah. Let me know when she and her family asks you what is acceptable/expected in your culture. And if she really needs that Sin Sod, she can marry a Thai too, it goes both ways.

  14. peter February 13, 2016 at 1:04 pm #

    hi

    i have been with my thai gf for 3.5 years and its time to marry. she has been married to a foreigner before and lived with him in UK for 5 years she is now 32

    they have a son who lives with his father in UK

    my gf has a good job earning about 30,000 baht per month i got her the job

    the last guy she was married too bought her a house and a farm for the family i am not sure how much cash he gave

    i have already paid out a lot of money for hr to travel to UK several times to see her son and have put at least 100,000 baht to the mother and father to help them buy trees for the farm

    i have bought cars, motorbikes and lots of other things over the years we have been together

    i read that once a thai girl has been married once they should not expect sin sod again but her mother is a greedy person who will expect it

    how much should i be paying any help would be appreciated

    i think it should be nothing because that would mean a thai girl could just go out keep meeting foreigners, marrying then divorcing for the sin sod

    im not saying for one moment that my gfis like that im just using it as an example

    al help appreciated

    • Chris February 13, 2016 at 1:50 pm #

      traditionally speaking you only pay a large sin sod if the girl is a virgin otherwise what are you really paying for? My cousin got married for 20,000 baht she was 18.

      • peter February 13, 2016 at 4:36 pm #

        hi

        so how much would you think was fair

        bearing in mind the situation currently

        • alan thompson September 4, 2016 at 1:56 am #

          my future mother in law,works and she dont look after my gf.how as 2 kids.she still gets cash from the gf,so when the dowry convo comes up.shes in for a shock!

    • silas82 February 13, 2016 at 2:05 pm #

      I believe in the end it’s what u are actually willing to give. The norm is that usually farang pays a much higher price compared to local thai men. But having said so, I too have a thai female friend whose thai husband had to pay 2 million baht for sin sod.
      I guess u have to find out how much u are really willing to part with and let it be known to her and her parents. If you are not willing to part with anymore money for sinsot, u should also let them know and see how does the discussion goes on from there.
      In the end they would have more to lose than you do if the marriage didn’t work out.

      • peter February 13, 2016 at 4:38 pm #

        thanks

        but bearing in mind all ve already given and her previous marriage and child what would be a fair offer

        im happy to pay something i think culture and tradition should be respected

        what would you offer in tis sitaution?

  15. peter February 13, 2016 at 4:36 pm #

    cheers for the info

    im happy to pay something i mean its culture and who am i to disrupt that

    i was thinking 50-100,000 thb

    would that be fair??

    can you give me an amount thats fair?

    • Chris February 13, 2016 at 5:04 pm #

      typically it’s about 10 times the amount you paid for the engagement. How much did you pay for the engagement?

      • peter February 13, 2016 at 5:09 pm #

        we only had a small engagement with family at the house so not much but i paid about 700 uk for the ring

    • silas82 February 13, 2016 at 6:52 pm #

      I got married to my wife without dowry in my home town in Malaysia. But I’m planning to have another Thai wedding in Thai. Am planning to give 300,000 as this number was mentioned once.
      Though it’s kind of a huge amount for me, but I guess my wife is worth every single penny of it, if not more.
      U can try to propose 100,000 and see how it goes from there since u have contributed to her family so much already.

      • peter February 17, 2016 at 12:51 pm #

        thanks silas

        i will see where it goes i did speak to my gf about this and she said have to talk to her mum so i will let you know where that goes

        i will offer 100,000 as you suggest

      • Jon March 12, 2016 at 10:49 am #

        If the family is fair, and you have already given to the family in other ways, money is less of a concern. Although your wife may be worth it, being a westerner, we are not a ATM…

  16. Jon February 17, 2016 at 10:10 am #

    It is a part of life in Asia. Although I don’t believe in a dowry, it is unavoidable. I offered AUS$2000 and that is it. When considering costs or relocating and visa costs, i am more than generous. Once I explained these costs, there were no problems.

    I am fortunate that I get along really well with my in-laws. I was worried that this issue would cause problems. By being upfront, everyone was clear and no miscommunication.

  17. jeff April 10, 2016 at 1:44 am #

    I got suckered. 500000 baht plus gold it came out to about 30000 usd. As soon as she came to usa to live she demanded 1000 to pay her house in thailand 500 usd to mom and 500 usd per month to her and family or else she go back…long ass story but no need to continue as its mess now. I am disgusted with myself. Sinsod never came back either and dont even know where it went. Then they stole $1000 from me but I got blamed because I left it out so I am really the blame for real and mom tells me family loses face because I give less money than her cousins husband living in England…goes on and on

    • Jon April 10, 2016 at 11:59 pm #

      Yes doesn’t surprise me. There are many cases like this. But also there are many cases of successful relationships coming out of Thailand. My partner is the most understanding, beautiful girl, so I can speak on the positive.

      It did take me awhile to find the right one though.

      Please don’t give up.

    • George October 23, 2016 at 6:16 am #

      Im sorry that happened to you, but I am guessing you fell for a bar girl. It goes without saying that there nasty little things, disease ridden, and from poor uneducated families whose sole desire is to milk you. There are many educated and beautiful thais, with families who are much more culturaly understanding. Anyone who is thinking about getting married should look for a good girl, not a fuck machine. And unless she is a high society girl, 30k dollars is way too much.

    • Graham, Newark on Trent, UK. October 25, 2016 at 10:17 pm #

      Read my post at the bottom. Sorry about your experience but your not alone. My observation is that 75% of marriages between British and Thai fail after 5 or 6 years. Often less. Thai women are very materialistic and money minded. Don’t feel stupid, They’re very clever at extracting money under false pretence. They see nothing wrong in it.

  18. SnakeEyez87 April 19, 2016 at 5:59 pm #

    Wowww, good post.. this is my first post ever. So be kind ppl 😊

    chatting with some thai bird.. long story short. Not interested in marrying her or dating her.just met her ramdonly and started talking.

    Anyways one convo came up when she was talking about her cuz getting married and the guy paid some dowrey, and i was like wtf is dowry Thats when i found this blog. My question is..

    In my situation, im 28 from, shes 27 got a 5 yr old kid. Living with 2 other siblings and mom in a one room pad and she from a poor village but staying in bkk and she doesnt work.. how much is she worth lol

    • Chris April 20, 2016 at 1:58 pm #

      about 10,000 baht.

    • Jon August 27, 2016 at 4:00 am #

      Good question. I think it depends on how much you are supporting her and her family. Since she has a child, that reduces the amount a lot as you are taking responsibility for the future extra costs.

      I am personally against the whole idea of a dowry. But if you care for her, just think how much you are willing to pay. To me, I said I am willing to pay $2000 that is it. But in the end my wife paid it anyway because I paid for the spouse visa etc.

      Just be careful. Thai culture is tricky, I have been in and out of Thailand for many years and many situations cannot be compared.

      • Jon August 27, 2016 at 4:01 am #

        $10,000 baht too much. Max $4000 if that. This is because of the child and situation.

  19. SnakeEyez87 April 20, 2016 at 2:31 pm #

    400 lol well thats cheap, well thanks alot chris. Im getting to understand more and more about thai culture. And it too to get a inside prospectives on things like that..
    Have a great day budz

  20. Mickey May 18, 2016 at 2:52 am #

    Hi… I met a 30 yr educated gorgeous Thai lady… She was never married and has no kids.. She has MA and works as a child psychologist.. She has money I’m sure as she has a car and she lives well.. My question is how much I should expect to be asked.
    One more thing, id be so happy if you can post here what papers I need to bring from my country so I can marry..
    Thanks in advance and good luck to all

  21. bestie.gam@gmail August 9, 2016 at 11:09 pm #

    I know what foreigner think about Sid Soot and say! Why I have to pay for them.
    Actually sin soot means when you want to marry this Thai person you have to show thier family that you can take care of her(my mom said it to me) I guess their family didn’t want you think like that but maybe they are uneducated to explain that for you so you can tell them and tell your girlfriend about that

    Thai is very nice. Don’t worry about sin soot,we go so far from the old culture.

  22. HarryFBP August 22, 2016 at 4:32 pm #

    The dowry is property the bride brings into the marriage or money and property the bride’s family pays/gives to the bridegroom’s family. A sin sod is called the bride price in English.

    • Kennnn September 2, 2016 at 3:07 pm #

      I have a question want to ask , for now my gf is thai , i haven ask for any son sid plan for now , if for sin sod , how much i need to pay ? she’s now 31 age old , but i am 27 age old .

      • Jon September 6, 2016 at 7:49 pm #

        Is she educated? Working? Many things to consider. In short I would pay little to nothing. Long answer, I think usually $2000 or less.

        My bride paid her dowry as we share expenses and I paid for other things. There is no hard and fast rule.

        Don’t get caught in the whole Westerner / Thai stereotype.

  23. alan thompson September 4, 2016 at 1:59 am #

    my to be mother in law work for herself,i takecare of my gf and 2 kids.so dowry convo will be brief!

  24. Mike September 24, 2016 at 3:04 am #

    My girl is 32 years old with a 4 year old child. She’s living with her mother in their metal shop. Clearly they are struggling. My girl is simply drop dead beautiful and as sweet as you could possible imagine. I’m paying 400,000 Baht and buying about $7000 worth of gold.

    It’s not cheap, when you consider the costs of relocation to the USA, but I’d rather have my girl not be worried about her mother. We’ll be sending her mother $500 a month too. So over the first 3 years a million Baht.

    To have my clothes ready and the house organized and food cooked and a wonderful, sweet wife waiting at the door for me with kisses when I get home? I don’t think it’s a bad deal at all :). This vs my experience with American women.

  25. Ronny Upscale September 30, 2016 at 2:21 pm #

    I fell in love with a Thai woman who was married for 12 years to a drunk. He died and now after 2 years, she wants to marry a foreigner. She wants a 90000 baht ring and the family is asking for 500,000 baht and 10 baht of gold or about 700,000 or 800,000 for the marriage.

    I think this is stupid and I dumped the ho. I have lived here for 25 years and I speak Thai and understand the culture. I am also 59 years old and unemployed right now with out a pension.

    So, who is the fool? Her or me. I know this woman would also expect me to take care fo her family until I die so why should I have to pay up front for a 40-year-old widow?
    By the way – she can’t speak English and has no job besides selling lottery tickets.

    • George October 23, 2016 at 6:19 am #

      Hahahahahahaha

    • Jon October 24, 2016 at 3:52 am #

      Good on you dumping her. There are many traps with this. I am lucky I married a beautiful and smart Thai girl.She even paid her own dowry and I was paying for the visa.

  26. ZJ October 15, 2016 at 11:56 pm #

    My situation
    – I am 43
    – She is 23
    – City: Chachoengsao
    – Height: 160cm / 5 ft 2 in
    – Weight: 45kg / 99lbs
    – Education: College
    – Occupation: Hairdresser
    – Has NO children

    I gave her 200,000 baht to open new hair salon & do a nail course
    She also wants 15,000 baht a month for her rent…her car & her Wifi

    How much is she worth…?

    • Chris October 16, 2016 at 3:23 pm #

      Seems like you’ve already paid…

  27. Graham, Newark on Trent, UK. October 25, 2016 at 9:47 pm #

    In Thailand there’s a saying……No Money No Honey. And I’m afraid 75% of the time that tells the story. There’s a general perception in Thailand and other South East Asian countries that in the West we’re all millionaires and don’t have to do much work for the money. “All you have to do is put your hands out and grab it” I was once told by a Thai girl that wanted me to pay off all her debts.” while openly admitting she had no interest in me whatsoever.

    With regards Dowry payments, don’t assume because you’re paying it they’ll appreciate it and stay with your forever. If a guy with plenty of money comes on the scene and shows an interest…….believe me…….they’ll jump ship. I’ve seen it numerous times. That wedding ring will mean nothing.

    Also be very careful of the ThaiCupid (and FilipinoCupid) websites. The internet is a very good tool for gold-diggers to use. I’ve met 8 Thais from that website in the last 7 years. I’ve chatted with numerous others. Always the same story. The money requests soon start. Mother sick, house flooded, electricity cut-off, son fell out tree, son bitten by dog, need money for a passport. Can’t afford food.

    You learn hard way on this one.

    Ironically two of the strongest marriages I know of (both more than 10 years and no problems) involve former bar-girls. (Now ther

    It’s a very mixed bag in Thailand. Get the rose coloured specs off and good luck anyone looking for a Thai bride. You’ll probably need it.

    • Jon October 30, 2016 at 3:18 am #

      I met my partner on ThaiCupid and we are happy. I would recommend this site to anyone. However, you have to be careful as I also have met some gold diggers.

      Anywhere there are bad girls, but also good girls too. Look before you jump.

  28. John in Thailand February 11, 2017 at 3:01 pm #

    I would imagine that many of the farang men.. Especially 55+ are no great bargain either!

    This post was written 5 years ago.. A hot topic indeed. It’s all about saving face here.. On both sides. Us farang men don’t want to look stupid by paying a huge amount of money for a woman 45 years old.. plus mother.. And we also don’t want to be labeled a cheap Charlie! The Thai girls… I wonder how many of them want the same as thier parents want for them.. The girl.. The daughter.. 45 years old.. with a teen child.. Is probably grateful for finding someone to love her.. To help her.. Physically and financially… But here parents.. May have a different.. More profitable agenda.. Just a feeling I have had.

  29. John HuaHin May 3, 2017 at 8:22 pm #

    I met a beautiful Thai lady 20 months ago. We Skyped every day and I went to Thailand twice to see her. I think it was great. I have helped her with small monthly amounts between Bht 5,000 and Bht 10,000. I was fine with that, but she asked me for more money several times because she wants to support her family. I have always refused to give more.

    She is 36 now, has two children. I have also met her parents, who have a small farm in Isaan province. So they are poor. What striked me as odd is when I visited them they did not even offer me some water to drink and generally they showed little interest.

    Two weeks ago I found out “my” lady was dating an older guy (she says he’s 60, but who knows, I am 46) who promised her more money than I gave her and bought her a scooter. I can understand that she wants more income but I don’t like her dating behind my back.

    Anyway, this week she said she wanted to marry me. Since my faith in her wasn’t what it was before I was very cautious. But I went along and said I was interested. Today she said she wanted a Bht 2,000,000 dowrey, which roughly equals EUR 53,000. I said I wanted to support her and her family but I don’t have that kind of money for a dowrey (actually I do, but this is not the way I want to spend it). She immediately kicked me of Skype, not even tried to negociate.

    Reading this article I think it is ok the way it is. She was obviously mainly interested in marrying me for the dowrey. It is a nightmare to think I would pay EUR 53,000 and not even be sure she would not leave me shortly after the wedding anyway, losing this big amount.

  30. Micky November 28, 2017 at 4:26 am #

    Hi, i’m due to marry a 51 year old Thai lady, a hotel chef from a working class family, They have asked for 400,000 bht, is this fair?
    I could afford 200,000 to 250,000.
    Would this be an insult?

  31. Joseph January 19, 2018 at 7:08 pm #

    How can I get back my dowry when I breakup with my thai Girlfriend and I had pay the dowry?

  32. Mike June 30, 2018 at 4:35 pm #

    I married a beautiful Chinese woman. Educated, makes over $65k U.S. and never asked me for shit! I gladly help out her family when needed. Really… You believe these uneducated peasants are worth the $ you’re paying?? You are just as stupid as they believe you are!!
    Have some dignity and self respect!!

  33. Steve-o April 4, 2019 at 12:17 am #

    Hmm, this is where I see a problem.

    Firstly, anyone thinking they won’t pay a sin sod of any sort is ignorant or uneducated.

    Secondly, most Thai ladies living in the countryside will ask for a lot more because most are barely getting by financially and have very little education.

    Lastly, Thai people LOVE to negotiate everything! The are deeply rooted in thier culture and traditions. They rank very high with strong family ties and values. That is who they are, PERIOD..
    My short story: I’m 52 and she is 42 with 1 child. I met her on a thai to English learning site. She is NOT from the countryside and has a good job. I paid 100,000 baht cash, a 24k gold bar and a 10k gold bracelet. We had the ceremony at the Bangkok Monk Hospital and later that evening had a dinner party for 23 people at a nice restaurant we had reserved 6 months prior. ( total price of ceremony & dinner was $2400usd)
    I paid for all of it and it wasn’t expensive. We split the price for the Visa’s back to my country and we put money in her parents bank account (3000 baht) a month.
    We will stay in my country for 8 more years and then move back to Thailand. I don’t make allot of money. But I’m able to support us without issues and in return she puts her job money in the bank to save for our future.
    We also took our time with our relationship growth (2 years). We always talked and agreed on what our needs vs wants were.

    So, I recommend that you do your due diligence in finding your future wife. Talk to and get advice from people about their experience.
    Visit Thailand and venture to the different parts of the Kingdom. Go to Bangkok and stay at one or more of the villages. Kinda like the suburbs or towns in America. You have the city girl, village girl ( suburban girl) and country girl. Do the same with Chaing Mai in the north. You’ll be very surprised of the difference in attitude, education, common sense and outlook on life.
    In conclusion:
    If you’re just looking for a POA ( piece of a$$) then that’s what you’ll get. No one needs to search far for that ANYWHERE!
    If you’re serious about finding a wonderful, true and loving woman, then do your homework and take your time. If you don’t want to pay for a sin sod or think its stupid; then Thailand isn’t for you.

  34. AB May 22, 2020 at 4:18 pm #

    I have this situation,

    – I am 27
    – She is 23
    – City: Samut Sakhon
    – Height: 165cm
    – Weight: 75kg
    – Education: university
    – Occupation: office assistant
    – Has NO children

    The family seems ok, they have a home and the parents and siblings have their own job/business. she has dated a few guys before me and seems like a good girl so far.

    How much do you think is a good offer? as we are having this discussion and I am getting hints of high figures.

    While I agree with the payment based on culture, I do not want to get cheated as either way, I still have to save probably an entire year to successfully carry out a Thai wedding.

  35. John Basset December 15, 2020 at 4:50 am #

    The USA used to have a dowry and still does in the sense that the family of the Bride, typically covers the cost of the wedding, It somehow got turned around, the Dowry benefited the brides family, now they get stuck with the wedding bill, interesting.

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