Going out in Thailand alone is nothing like going out alone in most other countries. Here, you can actually have a great time when you’re by yourself and nobody looks at you weird for being a loner. But, while a good wingman is infinitely more valuable in your home country, they can still be a huge help to you here. And it’s also important to understand how to be a good wingman and how to avoid being a bad one here so that you can actually keep your friends.
I have put together a list of 10 traits a good wingman in Thailand will posses. This is the list you want to email your buddies before the next time you go out. This is the “guy code” we should all assume we have to go by.
1) Make sure your friend does not get arrested or beaten
Another way of saying this is, “Make sure to get your friend home immediately once he has passed the point of being able to reasonably handle his liquor. If your friend is in blackout drunk mode you need to get him out of harm’s way. Most people that get beat or arrested do so when they’re in blackout drunk mode. In case you didn’t realize it by now, you’re probably not going to cure cancer or think of your next brilliant business idea when you hit this type of drunkenness. More likely you’re going to do something you regret. IF your friends liquor starts doing the talking for him, do whatever is necessary to get him home! Getting arrested in Thailand might even be worse than taking a beating, but neither is something a good wingman would let happen.
2) Make sure your friend doesn’t mistake a lady boy for a lady
If only everyone would stick to this rule, it’s possible the lady boy circuit would be out of business. Now we’ve all been in a situation where we saved someone who was too drunk to spot one, and we’ve also been in a situation where we’re not sure if we should save someone because it appears they know they’re talking to a lady boy and that they seem to be enjoying themselves. It’s like a drunken curiosity has taken them over. Should you rain on their parade? The answer is yes, unless they’ve made it clear to you when they were sober that they’re into that sort of thing. And if they did, then I’m not sure why you’d even go out together since you’re obviously into very different nightlife options. Don’t let your friend make a mistake like this is.
3) Make sure your friend doesn’t get bombarded by ugly chicks
If a girl that isn’t my type comes up to me and asks me to buy her a drink, it’s an awkward situation. I want to say no and I kind of have to say no, but it’s a tough spot. But if your friend swoops in and says, “No he has a lady tonight” then its problem solved. It’s good to have protection!
4) Make sure your friend understands that he can leave with a chick at anytime
Don’t put your friend in a spot where he feels he has to stay out all night with you when you’ve already been out for a while and it’s clear that he has a woman he’s ready to go home with.
5) Make sure you give your friend space when he’s operating
If your friend is in the middle of making it happen with a girl, let him do his thing. Don’t distract them with stupidity; that’s a common move I see here and it borders on c**k blocking. It would be different if you guys were going out for some beers and to watch a game together, but if you’re out on the prowl chasing tail, you have to give your buddy some space to get to know a girl he seems to want to get to know.
6) Spread the wealth with your friend
It’s not capitalism; you’re not stacking every hot girl you talk to in your bank account. So if you have a girl with you and you notice another girl who is your friend’s type, make the introduction happen.
7) Give your friends any cover they need when they lie to their girlfriends
Remember to sort out your lies and excuses with your friend before you part ways. And always be willing to cover him with a lie even if he went out on a night that you didn’t. When you get home at 3M and your girlfriend gives you that look of disgust, you can tell her how horrible your night was because your buddy was sick and throwing up all night and you had to take care of him for basically the entire night. Just make sure your friend knows the story. And always be on alert if your friend’s wife or girlfriend starts grilling you about past events. It’s entirely possible that your friend can’t even keep all of his lies straight and forgot to tell you that you went out with him last week, so if his wife says, “How was the movie Wednesday” you can just be vague and say, “I love movies.” This way you’re covered if he told her you guys went to see a movie, and you’re covered if she was testing you because he actually said you guys went to play cards.
8) Be happy if your friend gets the “hot chick” of the night
If your friend bagged a stunner and you’re getting the sense that you’re not going to have anywhere near that type of success that night, just be happy for him. Whatever you do please don’t c**k block him. Do that to me and it’ll be the last time we go out together. There’s no place for jealousy when the girls outnumber us 5 to 1; it makes no sense.
9) Help your friend negotiate
This works well in a good cop bad cop kind of way. Negotiating prices with a girl is awkward and it can kind of ruin the moment. But have your friend aggressively negotiate on your behalf and you’ll get the best possible price with the least amount of awkwardness.
10) Don’t let your friend drive drunk
That famous saying, “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk,” its dead on. There’s nothing more important than this one. Take your friends keys if you have to, but no matter what do not let him drive home if he’s completely smashed.
