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Thai people having affairs

Start hanging out with Thai people enough and you'll soon learn that having an affair is as normal as eating pie. The term Gik or Kik refers to the person you are having an affair with in English I guess you would call this person your lover, however in Thailand being a Kik doesn't necessarily mean you have sexual relations with the person you are a Kik to. It's more like a companion for when you're feeling lonely and/or just want to go out and have fun.

Thai people having affairs

For the most part Thai men married or not are typically the ones who have Kik's but Thai women are just as likely to have a Kik too if they are not married. It's kind of like a play date for them especially when a Thai male is married the wife will stay at home and he'll go out with his Kik. Married Thai women know that their partner are out with their Kik and it's typically accepted or tolerated. I can't speak for Thai women however i'm pretty sure it's justified as long as the guy keeps taking care of her and her kids financially. For a Thai women being single and having kids is definitely something they don't want to experience.

Working out who is and isn't a Kik is a somewhat challenging task. Take for example this girl I'm seeing who is about 36y/o. I've been out with her friends a few times now and one of her friends a lady about 40y/o with 4 kids. The first few times we had dinner together she was with this guy called A. Now I just assumed these two were married because of their age and by the way they were acting. Now I went out with them again and this time there was another guy with us but A wasn't there but some other guy was.

At first I didn't even realise they were an item or anything because you know how Thai people are kind of conservative and need to drink  a bottle of red before they start showing any kind of affection. So we're drinking away and this new guy goes off to play some cards at another table. (I don't gamble) Anyway so I asked this girl Som (that's her name) if she had any kids, she said 4. I said oh ok wow that's a lot. A must have his hands full is he at home with the kids?

By the look on her face I could tell that I've either said something wrong or embarressed her and glad that I decided to ask her when she was alone and not in front of anyoen else. Turns out Mr A is just 1 of several Kiks she has and that the four kids of hers all have different fathers. geez even more surprisingly is her affluence.

Well Som and her new Kik start showing a bit more affection and I start to get it a bit more but wonder what the deal is with this guy. So I ask my girl about this dude and she tells me he has a wife and two kids that are at home in bed while he is out with us. She also tells me he's a big into the soapy massages as well and owns a local Toyota dealership. Neither Som or anyone else really seem bothered by all this and are all casual about the affair. Som get's a bit more drunk when I ask her about what the deal is and she tells me she doesn't sleep with any of her Kiks but I find that extremely hard to believe if at all.

Even if she doesn't do anything the way they are cuddling and acting out makes believe their is more too it. "Just Friends" don't cuddle and hold hands. The ease and relaxed nature of Affairs in Thailand are tolerated and accepted it's a part of their culture which Thai people in Thai style would refuse to admit just as Som refuses to admit there are any sexual relations between her and her Kiks.

Thailand has a culture of acceptance in all parts of life and at the same time avoiding confrontation. You'll hear many Thai girls saying that they hate Thai guys because they "nork jai" or cheat on their wives/girlfriends but it's the culture of acceptance and non confrontation that perpetuates the Kik culture.

It's often unlikely that when a Thai woman marries that she will either become or take on a Kik. When they have children and a family they want to do whatever it takes to make everyone happy and this is why the Thai woman is a much sought after wife. But until you marry her watch out because just like Thai guys Thai women will have their Kiks too.

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About Chris

Chris founded LivingThai.org in 2011 and has received over 3 million visitors. He has lived here for over 10 years and speaks reads and writes very good Thai.

5 Responses to Thai people having affairs

  1. ChiangMaiGuy February 26, 2012 at 2:37 am #

    Well that’s sort of right Chris but you have forgotten to throw in the ‘mia noi’ (small or lesser wife for those who don’t know). So the hierarchy (top 6) is more like this:

    1st wife
    2nd mia noi
    3rd GF
    4th gik
    5th dates (internet etc.)
    6th soapies/bar girls etc.

    The ‘mai noi’ is a more ‘permanent’ addition normally a home is provided and everything paid for. The Gik maybe (sometimes) get’s an ‘allowance’. I always think of a Gik as a 50% GF without the hassles.

    I have a few Giks I see fairly regularly but no money changes hands and they are not GFs. I don’t have a GF and don’t want one 😛 I ‘may’ slip up the ladder into the 3rd category one day (the GF) but it’s not on my mind yet as I am too young (only early 50s) hehe 😛

    • Deepe November 13, 2012 at 1:23 pm #

      i love this comment…its making me pretty much clear abt me and the girls in pocket…now i can categorize them lol

    • Brad August 6, 2015 at 7:06 pm #

      They say, if a man’s not married by the time he’s 40 he’s either gay or a rascal… which one are you?

  2. คลิฟ March 20, 2012 at 5:47 am #

    Hi Chris, I’m working in Bangkok- teaching English at a Nursing College.” There are a gazillion beautiful nurses there. I’m hoping to get a few of the married ones to “have-an- adventure,” and try-out a farang. I’ll let you know if i meet with any success.

    How’s it going in Pattaya- after the “Big Move?”

    🙂 คลิฟ

    • Chris March 20, 2012 at 4:27 pm #

      Pattaya is great! Nurses go off dude! Love it!

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