I’ve been lumped in with pickup artists (pua’s) in the past by ignorant feminists who don’t understand the difference between a guy who gets laid and a guy who has to do insane things to get laid. I do nothing that pickup artists do, and nobody in Thailand needs to do anything like that. Regarding the most common PUA tactics and strategies, I don’t think too highly of them. I don’t have an issue with anyone who chooses to go that route; I just don’t think it’s the best way to go. But, again, I’m not judging anyone who uses the strategies and I’m not even going to judge the guys who sell them. You can’t blame anyone for wanting to meet chicks, and you can’t blame guys for making money in the industry. We all do what we have to do to get by in both areas, money and women. However, that will not stop me from ripping the “game” up and celebrating its uselessness in Thailand.
If you’re in Thailand or you come here frequently, you can read on with a smile. I’m going to rip on the modern day pua game, and as I do so, you’ll feel great knowing that you’d NEVER need to resort to any of the BS they use. If you live in a Western country and you don’t get to Thailand often, I understand that it can be a struggle sometimes to meet the type of women you want and to get somewhere with them. Good looking Western women have the upper hand, and they know they can make most men jump through hoops in return for any of their time. This is why I don’t blame anyone who initially finds the PUA game to be enticing. If what you’re doing is not getting you the girl(s) you desire, it’s actually respectable that you’d have the balls to do something drastic to change that. But do yourself a favor and don’t waste the energy, money, or time on a system that will make you appear to be insane, and might even make you go insane.
Pickup artists will tell you that looks and money don’t matter much when it comes to getting women. Then they’ll tell you to change your appearance completely and to spend money on going out all of the time. So, looks and money do matter. And we’ve known this, and we’ll always know it! Looks and money help a lot, but if a PUA “teacher” admits it off the bat, they wouldn’t be able claim that their system works for “all shapes, sizes, and budgets.” This could be seen as a bit disingenuous. If a regular guy in California is having trouble with women, is it crazy to think that he’d do at least a little better if he started making a lot more money and got himself into much better physical shape? It doesn’t mean everything, but it means a lot. So if a guy is having issues meeting women, he should probably hit the gym and work harder at his career/business. We know those strategies work, and they’re beneficial to lots of other areas of life. But PUA’s don’t sell books about business or about fitness.
What do pickup artists sell books about? We’ll get to that soon. I remember when I was fifteen and my Father told me, “girls like men who are confident.” That was good advice and I think every fifteen year old boy should be told this. But by eighteen, everyone does know it! Every adult male realizes that women like confident men with a good sense of humor. It’s obvious, and those traits can be almost as important as your appearance and your wallet size. But pickup artists can’t make you confident and they can’t make you funny. Confidence comes from within, and being funny is something you’re mostly born with, but can improve with opportunities and practice. It’s the last part of the previous sentence, opportunities and practice, which is the backbone behind why some PUA methods do actually work.
PUA teachers constantly sell you on why you shouldn’t let one rejection deter you in any way. The books, teachers, and video systems constantly remind you that you must practice your game non-stop, and keep trying new things on new girls. They want you to engage a dozen female strangers every night, and try some “proven techniques” until you start getting good at them. You’re told to ignore the rejection, and you’re even warned that you’ll probably face mostly rejections in the beginning. They’ll tell you stories about how a persistent guy that gets rejected 90% of the time gets laid much more often than most good looking rich guys. And… all of that is probably true to an extent. If you’re going to talk to ten times as many girls, you’ll have many more opportunities to meet women, and it makes sense that all of the added practice will make you better at your delivery. That is key to the PUA game. They use the number’s game, and the practice from the extra opportunities the number’s game provides, to give their “game” the best chance it has to succeed on a nightly basis.
What does their game consist of? Here’s a brief run down. Keep in mind that there are dozens of books, websites, forum’s, and even dvd systems, that are all teach the intricacies of the game itself.
A) Getting Noticed – As ballsy as they are, most PUA’s know better than to just come out of nowhere on a girl and scare her half to death. Their rule of thumb is that if you make contact, like at all, then you’re good to go. They encourage the eye contact by getting noticed, and they do that by wearing clothing or accessories that will stand out from the crowd. They call it peacocking.
B) The Approach – Most guys get anxious before they start talking to a girl. PUA’s beat the anxiety out of themselves, and approach a girl before an traces of it can even enter the picture. And they have all sorts of tricks for common situations, like when a girl is with a bunch of other girls.
C) The Opener – PUA’s know how easy it is for a girl to dismiss a guy who is trying the same old sh*t. Saying, something like, “Do you come here often?” or “Can I buy you a drink?” doesn’t work and PUA’s realize this. So to make girls a little more comfortable, PUA’s ask them something totally random and innocent, like “my friend and I are having a debate about (whatever), who do you think is right?”
D) Showing value – PUA’s use all sorts of tricks to show value to a girl. This includes hanging out with other pretty girls and wingmen who are successful with women.
E) Manipulators – PUA’s use all sorts of manipulation as they are conversing with a girl. This includes saying something negative about her (Negging), and touching her in the right places at the right times (kino). They will even practice the speed and cadence of their speech, and they’ll use certain postures and poses to exude masculinity. They’re careful to look a girl in the eye when they talk.
F) Avoiding Mistakes – PUA’s will never tell a girl how pretty she is or talk about something routine, like their boring job. They keep topics they’re comfortable with handy in their brain, using them to avoid awkward silences and to smoothly transition from one topic to the next.
G) Take away close –PUA’s take advantage of the human tendency for people to want what they can’t have. By acting somewhat disinterested throughout key points in the conversation, the girl may wonder if you even like her, and then they’re looking for approval.
That’s a really short and fairly positive version of what they do and what they preach. In reality, they force themselves to go through an unbelievably awkward and pain-staking process, nightly, until they get numb to rejection and shame. The ego building process starts building. From there, the continual practice makes them better at delivering conversations in a smoother manner. They avoid talking about anything important because that stuff usually doesn’t help. They use tricks and manipulation to make some women interested, who otherwise wouldn’t be. And when they get a woman, they don’t let the girl know how much they like her EVER, because that’s the beginning of the end.
Keeping that in mind, here is a short list of traits associated with being a male SOCIOPATH:
1) Lack of Shame
2) Comfortable lying
3) Lack anxiety in situations that typically cause anxiety
4) Will say anything to get what they want
5) Very smooth in conversations
6) Huge Ego
7) Exude masculinity and testosterone
8) They’re manipulative
9) Able to make uninterrupted eye contact
I didn’t have to look hard to find the similar traits between the seasoned PUA and the sociopath. Why would someone who is not crazy want to work really hard at becoming crazy? But the fact that PUA’s use sociopathic behaviors to get what they want, is telling. Sociopaths inevitably face consequences for their social disorder, and PUA’s do as well.
Here’s what happens when you become a full time PUA:
1) People get wise to you really fast. Unless you travel a lot, there are only a certain amount of places you can go out and try your game. Pretty soon you get a horrible reputation where you live.
2) You can get your ass beat! It’s true, some guys don’t like PUA’s and if they get the sense that a PUA is operating with their girl, problems can escalate. A problem with going up to tons of women, is that sooner or later you’ll get to the wrong ones.
3) The book is out on PUA’s, and most women in major cities are aware of their existence. Wait until a girl says, “WOW, you’re actually trying to Neg me aren’t you? F OFF”
4) The best kind of girls don’t get manipulated by the cheap tactics. Sure, you’ll meet plenty of insecure women who will fall for the negs and the take away close, but girls like that get clingy and crazy.
5) Using the pickup game removes YOU from the encounters. You begin to get into a “character.” This becomes tiring, and does not bode well for any meaningful relationships.
6) IF it’s only about banging, then I guess being a PUA can work sometimes, but so can a buying hookers. If it’s about more than that, shouldn’t it be about enjoying yourself? It is not fun to use the PUA game, it’s work. The times where you meet a girl being yourself, and you hit it off with her; those are infinitely more memorable than some pick up conquests. Quality over quantity every time!
7) PUA’s dominate conversations and just about everything until they get what they want. What about letting a girl blow you away with her personality? Fat chance when you’re playing the “game.” Because to PUA’s it’s not about finding the right girl, it’s about finding a willing girl.
8) The PUA game doesn’t work with a lot of girls! Even if they don’t realize you’re using PU techniques, a good chunk of women want to have a real back and forth conversation, and would be turned off to you not showing interest and saying negative things. You can also call those girls “MENTALLY HEALTHY.”
9) If you don’t care if girls are mentally healthy or not, you can just go online and meet 5 to 10 crazy girls a day. And you can do that all for the cost of a dating membership, not by spending big money to go out every night.
10) Whether you get numb to it or not, the rejection does mean something and you should want to avoid it. The PUA’s think they’ve unlocked some great secret by ignoring all of the rejection, but how do they fail to see the cost? If you make 10 new strangers think you’re a crazy asshole every night you go out, you’re pretty much a crazy asshole. Why wouldn’t you care about that? Why can’t you have a little pride? Getting laid a few times isn’t worth having most people you meet hate you and think you’re a joke. We get that it’s not good to care too much about what people think. But you should care if the consensus about you is that you’re a desperate crazy lunatic.
I’d love to see a PUA in action in Thailand. The first time he says something negative or starts touching the girl, she’d run. That’s what I love about Asia, none of that stuff is even necessary. Girls respond if you’re nice, funny, and have a decent enough appearance. Some are pickier than others, but none of them enjoy rejecting men, which is like the national pastime of hot girls in the U.S.
Granted, if you’re in a Western country, I see why you’d be willing to make drastic changes. But rather than read book after book and pay big money for some BS PUA system, just keep the following in mind if you want to get somewhere with Western women:
1) Dress well, not like an asshole
2) Be confident, but not cocky
3) Make sure you’re fit
4) Make sure you’re financially solvent
5) Use online dating to get dates
6) Meet women through friends
7) Be loose and be yourself
8) Be well groomed
9) Be willing to talk about interesting things and try to avoid dry subjects
10) GO WITH THE FLOW
There you go, that’s it. Save your money and your sanity; just focus on that stuff if you insist on courting Western women. And if you want to court Thai women, you can remove #’s: 3,6, and 9.