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Finding A Good Thai girl

If you’ve been reading my blog a while now you’ll know that I don’t date bar girls and rarely head to soapies. I do enjoy going to a few bars and love the Karaoke houses but you’ll never see me actually hanging out with a bar slut. When you speak Thai well like I do it’s hard to take bar girls seriously, but then even without the Thai language skills it’s just common sense not to date a girl that exchanges sex for money unless of course the girl is just after a sponsor.
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Not all Thai girls are lying cheating whores like sometimes I make them out to be. There are Thai girls out there that are educated, smart, have a decent job and are hard working. And just because she is a good girl in public doesn’t mean she ain’t a bad girl in Bed. The difference between a good girl and a bad girl is quite clear.

This is a bar slut

This is a bar slut

good thai girl

This is a good Thai girl

If I were coming to Thailand on vacation for a few weeks I’d be reckless I’d be at the bars the go go’s riding up large bar bills and sure maybe walking some skank back to my room. This is because I’ve only got a few weeks to really go wild so why not. I guess you can call that being a sex tourist. Sex tourists don’t want to meet a good Thai girl because it’s too time consuming they just want to do as many young thai girls as they can.

In your first year living in Thailand you don’t know anyone, and because of the language barriers you tend to just glide to the Farang bar areas that have the girls with the darker complection tattoos and know pigeon English. I’ll call the guys at this stage of living in Thailand Fish. Many guys get stuck being a fish a long time if not forever. Fish find it hard to meet a good Thai girl because of the language problems and the good Thai girls they typically find speak perfect English and are highly opinionated like western women.
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After you’ve been living in Thailand for a year or so and you’ve picked up conversational Thai you progress to the next stage which I’ll call the Paradise stage. During the paradise stage things are awesome, you still get lost when people talk to you but you’ve developed enough skill to master the dating sites and pick up girls from 7 eleven. I call it paradise because during this stage you sleep with a lot of girls. You stop paying for sex and start paying for movies and ice-cream. You have an awesome time hanging out with so many different girls. However during this stage you probably still blow off the good Thai girls because you just want to bang different chicks. Guys who find a girlfriend in this stage and settle in with her will never reach their full potential. You havn’t mastered the language yet and what will happen is you’ll start speaking English to your girlfriend who will learn it faster than you learn Thai.

Guys who find a relationship when they are still in Paradise mode will end up returning to being a fish. Those guys who havn’t reached their full potential will get comfortable having a girl they can order stuff in English who in turn can make it happen. They meet up with their other farang friends at the bars for a good night out but back home to the misses. No more overnights at random girls houses. Just short times from the girls they can get when out with the boys. This is a waste you can do that back home.

For the privileged few who have reached enlightenment and can speak Thai very well you have reached the holy grail of finding a good Thai girl. You can meet girls anywhere with ease you know just by talking to a girl what type of girl she is. You make Thai friends easily and through those friends you can find good Thai girls that are into you and not your wallet. You can find good girls yet still have fun with the bad girls, life is great.

So why do I make comparisons of finding a good Thai girl to your ability to speak Thai? That’s because to truly know the person you think you know you’ll need to know not just her but her family. Thai people are uniquely molded by the family. For you to know if she comes from a good family or not you’ll need to be able to talk to her family which unless her family also speaks perfect English (unlikely) you will never learn a key part about her.

Good Thai girls don’t go to beer bars in Pattaya, they don’t hang out on chat rooms but they do go to clubs but will be surrounded by friends and you’ll have no chance of an entry no matter how fly you think you are. Meeting a good Thai girl requires you to use acquaintances to find her and language skills to court her.

There are good Thai girls everywhere and believe me when your a fish you’ll kiss plenty of frogs. To figure out who is a good Thai girl and who isn’t I always employ the following theories which have worked well in finding out if she’s only a bad girl in the bedroom:

  1. A good Thai girl rarely shows the skin on her shoulders. Bad girls have no problem wearing singlets.
  2. A bad Thai girl will never pay nor even offer, a good Thai girl likes to share.
  3. A good Thai girl will be nervous about you meeting her family, a bad Thai girl won’t even think about it (you’re already number 50 they’ve met).
  4. Good Thai girls will always worry you are with someone else, bad Thai girls will be all non-chalant will say they are concerned but you can tell in their face they are just saying it and arn’t as scared as a good Thai girl.
  5. Only bad girls have tattoos in Thailand, good Thai girls don’t.
  6. A good Thai girl will not sleep with you on the first date.

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My idea of a good Thai girl may or may not be the same as what you think. For me a good Thai girl is one that I can trust, can look after herself and doesn’t need me but want me. A Thai girl who has good family that won’t be calling her for money all the time. A good Thai girl dresses appropriately speaks politely and doesn’t talk trash.

Now I can’t tell you where find a good Thai girl all I can say is once you have reached enlightenment you’ll know where to find her.


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About Chris

Chris founded Living Thai and author of the books Learn the The Thai Alphabet and How to make money in Thailand also the Blueprint for Living in Thailand. Chris started this blog with the aim of educating westerners on how to have the best time in Thailand, to make new friends and to vent his frustrations Chris is also fluent in both written and spoken Thai.

14 Responses to Finding A Good Thai girl

  1. ChiangMaiGuy February 9, 2012 at 10:24 am #

    ‘A good Thai girl will not sleep with you on the first date’

    that’s right normally date number three ;)

    • Chris February 9, 2012 at 10:25 am #

      Couldn’t agree more ;)

  2. Buttercup February 10, 2012 at 9:09 am #

    Does this makes the girls you met on the net for a quicky all bar sluts?

    • Chris February 10, 2012 at 9:13 am #

      Absolutely not

      • Buttercup February 10, 2012 at 9:22 am #

        So what about the ‘A good Thai girl will not sleep with you on the first date’ rule then?

        • Chris February 10, 2012 at 9:27 am #

          In my mind when someone says they are looking for a good Thai girl they are trying to find love/relationship etc. A good Thai girl may sleep with you on the first date sure, but it’s the ones that don’t that are more serious about love/relationship.

        • ChiangMaiGuy February 11, 2012 at 1:57 am #

          yes and an added twist – I have had ‘good Thai girls’ leave after a coffee or dinner etc. only to arrange another date very, very quickly so they can feel they didn’t ‘do it’ on the first date!

          It’s that FT thing again… (Face Thing)

  3. Mr Hoy February 14, 2012 at 3:03 am #

    Not all ” bar sluts ” as buttercup puts it are bad. I’ve had many great ones, many of the ones I call “retreads” ie: gone back for a second or third session mainly overnight stays do warm to you if you treat the right.
    Had lots not want money from you ( once you have been with them a few times )as they know they will be well taken care of while with you. Sometimes the situation they find themselves in dictates their reason for being there ( some actually tell the truth or part there of )

    Chris is right just the same in saying the ones you meet through friends be it sister, cousin, friend of their partner, wife or girlfriend. Meet some really nice people to boot this way. I would add this is only good for the regular traveler or long term visitor if your just there for a few weeks forget stick to the whores you can waste time you don’t have going down that path.

    • ChiangMaiGuy February 14, 2012 at 7:44 am #

      that’s right – I have met very many decent girls who work in bars and many who are on my ‘heroine list’ for making a sacrifice for their child back in the province and not abandoning it. If there is a God – those girls will be honoured and some of those rich ‘do good’ business people will be shown the gates of hell. So all is not what it seems! judge not… etc.

  4. Mr Hoy February 14, 2012 at 4:21 am #

    I wanted to add in last post a good example almost the “perfect women “
    I meet a girl (27) from a bar s/t her for some reason I don’t know why as I never worry about it with s/t’s I ask for her phone no and arranged to meet after work. About 35 min later she rings and says she can’t make it as they where handing the tips out tonight and you had to be there ( ie she has a better offer and can make more coin from another punter ) I said fine no worries good luck to you make it while you can. She then said what about tomorrow I’m off I said I’ll ring you then.
    Next day had no ladies lined up so I rang she said do you want to go movies I said yes she said can I bring 2 friends I said sure. I get there we had some food then movie I paid ( thinking been played here ) then she tells me I have period can’t boom boom ( great played big time) but you can s/t my friends so over the next 2 days that’s what I did. On the third day got all 3 of them together we all sleep in my room ( not much sleeping happening ) By the 4th day I said enough is enough can’t handle this much more plus it was costing a truck load having 3 girls in tow night and day. I said I’ll ring ( the original in a few days ) as I wanted a change 2 days go by I get a call it’s her you have lady tonight not yet you want I come your room after work stay with you don’t worry you not pay. I said ok I’ll go out with some friends and pick you up after work. This went on most nights till I went home. Turns out and for some reason I believe her having seen most of what she told me, she stopping work ( rooting for a living)having set up her family with new house, car and farm equipment and moving back home. Fast forward 2 yrs and I’m still seeing her I’ve been back 7 times I tell her when I’m in town ( always the last part of my trip so I don’t get bogged down with her for the whole trip) she says ok I’ll get a ticket pick me up from the bus station. Never asks for a cent and won’t take any as I always try to give her some, she does want for nothing just the same when we are together. We have a great time either the 2 of us with friends or once or twice a week we will go out and pick up another girl I say pick whoever you like and I’ll pay never had a bad one yet. She’ll tell me you can’t have one pussy forever you get boring me plus she likes some pussy now and then herself.
    Now my millionaire mate who lives there Is always giving me shit saying I ( as in him ) can’t afford not to pay for it, it will bite you sooner or later trust me.
    Now the sting in the tail is she wants to get married and have kids I have made it clear from the first time she spoke about it, it’s not going to be me she has spoke about it more and more on the ph of late so this next trip march will be interesting think I’ll have to bring it to a head.

  5. Mike February 16, 2012 at 8:10 am #

    So how come Buttercup gets a cute picture while the rest of us have to have skuiggles?

    • Chris February 16, 2012 at 9:18 am #

      Create an account at gravatar.com and upload your picture there. This is the best way because most sites (like this one) now use gravatar so you can have the same picture linked to your email address at any website, change it once at gravatar and it changes at every other website.

  6. benny August 27, 2012 at 12:58 am #

    I don’t agree with the tattoos and with the sex on the first date.

  7. Matt January 24, 2013 at 4:05 am #

    I agree with pretty much every point on ‘a good girl’

    The shoulder comment surprised me, and then I went through all my GF’s pics, and sure enough! I think one out of 200 was a spaghetti strap, and even then there was a see-through kinda shawl on.

    Some points are very relative to where you are meeting them, their age, and how ‘old school’ their parents are, as they will never do anything to shame the family.

    They are certainly allowed to wear a lot less clothing than in traditional Thai culture! But you may run into old culture like:

    Mid to upper class Thai will always want their girl pure for marriage lol.

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