How many people do you know who took a trip to Thailand, and didn’t like it? The answer is probably zero or close to it. Is that because Thailand is one of the easiest places to have a great trip? That’s certainly a part of it. But it’s also because people are generally hesitant to admit that they didn’t love their vacation. They won’t even admit it to themselves because too much is on the line; they invested their one annual holiday and their entire vacation fund. We’re all so used to seeing facebook posts like, “Jean and I loved our amazing tip to Japan.” But watch your friend stutter when you ask them what was so amazing about that trip to Japan. And FYI, Japan is an overrated holiday destination, at least for guys like us. Thailand is certainly not overrated, but that doesn’t mean a holiday here is a slam dunk to be “amazing.” How do I know this? Because I’ve seen it go wrong for many people, and I get emails all the time from guys who didn’t have a great trip at all. For as great as Thailand is, consider that roses do have the occasional thorn. The good news is that you can avoid almost all potential pitfalls, preventing you from having any chance of ruining your trip to Thailand.
Here is a list of the top 10 ways in which you can ruin your trip to Thailand:
1) Meet a girl prior to coming here, and make the trip all about her.
Some of the dating sites are great, and online dating is a superb way to meet a slew of girls. So it’s perfectly acceptable, and even recommended, that you set up a few dates prior to your trip. What is not recommended, however, is to get yourself into a “virtual relationship” with a chick you have never met, and then to come here on your annual holiday, just to spend it all with her. This is happening more and more often. And if you’ve done this and had a good experience doing it, please don’t’ waste the time to write about it in the comment section. Please understand that you’d be the exception. Even if she turned out not to be a liar, a gold digger, or a prostitute, you’d still have a hard time convincing me that spending your whole trip with one girl you really like is better than spending it with many girls you like. Especially when considering that you’re just going to go back home heartbroken, with no real opportunity to continue the relationship with her. And that’s the best case!
2) Spend your whole trip with a bar girl you meet on your first day.
This is kind of like number 1, only on steroids. Not only do you waste an opportunity to make connections with a bunch of women, but you waste that opportunity on a girl who will be blowing other dudes the night you leave. Be the guy who gets blown, not the guy who cries when he thinks about all the guys getting blown.
3) Don’t drink enough water
A lot of people have stomach issues when they take a vacation here. Some of it isn’t even preventable. Even if you stick to bland foods, the food is still flat out different, and your stomach has at least a 50/50 chance of letting you know this. The easy solution people think of is to bring or buy lots of stomach medications. That’s fine, but it’s even more important to be hydrated. This will help to keep things moving and if there is an issue, it’ll pass quicker if you maintain proper hydration levels. As I’ve written about before, diarrhea is actually one of the leading causes of death here. People are already dehydrated as it is because of how damn hot it is, so when the diarrhea kicks in, it’s an all out war on the body. And since alcohol is another great way to dehydrate you, chugging water is especially essential to vacation boozers.
4) Think that you’re stronger than the sun
There’s a good chance that that you’ll be out in the brutal sun here a lot more often that you would be at home. You don’t need me to tell you the dangers, but you may need me to remind you that your tan isn’t that important! If you need a tan to verify to people that you weren’t lying about your supposed trip to Thailand, you might want to invest in a phone that has a camera – this magical innovation went mainstream about a decade ago! Don’t be a hero, and don’t think that pale white guys are the only would-be victims.
5) Buy drugs from people you don’t know
There are more foreigners in the jails here than people would like to know. Sure you can end up buying your way out of a lot of issues, but that doesn’t mean it will work every time, or that you wouldn’t have
already sh*t your pants going through it. Half the Thai guys who approach foreigners with available drugs are undercover. If you want to go on a drug binge, go somewhere else, like rehab.
6) Have unprotected sex
This is probably the #1 way to ruin your trip, so I guess that means this list is in random order. You had a great time and all, until the flight back when you convince yourself that you surely have HIV. While that is probably not the case, it’s hard not to worry about it. And a few months of worrying will definitely give you buyer’s remorse about your trip. There are some not so life threatening STD’s that are kind of rampant in the bar girl scene. Condoms guys, always condoms.
7) Lose control of yourself due to too much alcohol
An oldie, but a goodie. Lots of people do stupid sh*t when they’re drunk, as one Mr. Mike Tyson told us so eloquently in the movie, The Hangover. Truer words have never been said! When you’re obviously drunk in Thailand, all of a sudden you become a target. When you’re uncontrollably drunk, all bets are off. Whether you get robbed, beaten, or do #6; chances are you’ll be left with a tainted trip.
8) Get adventurous on a motorbike
If you drive motorcycles or motorbikes regularly, you can disregard this. But if you have little or no experience driving them, you need to be really careful if you rent one on your trip. It can take a week or more of driving on easy roads to really figure things out, and that’s time you don’t have on your vacation. Add to that the fact that you’ll be drunk half the time, and this just isn’t a good idea.
9) Buy an off plan condo or a timeshare
If you think you can realistically come here multiple times per year, and you can afford buying a little condo somewhere, then maybe it’s something to think about. But what you don’t want to do is make an impulse buy while you’re on your vacation high. People want to extend the “time of their life,” so they commit to it by getting pressured into buying something that they later regret. Making a huge financial move like this, without really knowing everything about it, is a sure fire way to ruin your trip. In related news, I have been officially added to a few people’s “sh*t list,” but oh well.
10) Come unfunded and unprepared
This is aimed mainly at the younger crowd. People hear that they can buy meals for 30 Bht, and figure their only real expense here will be the cost of the flight. That is not the case at all! IF you want to be active when you’re here, you’ll spend a decent amount of money. It won’t be as expensive as a lot of other destinations, but that doesn’t mean it will be cheap. You’re better off saving more and waiting, than coming here with the amounts some budget backpackers might tell you are good enough. IF you want to enjoy islands, nice restaurants, women, night clubs etc., you need to bring a minimum of 6,000 baht per day spending money. You may end up spending less than that, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right amount to bring.