My Mom Died This Morning
A few months ago my mum collapsed at work. My sister had called me to tell me what had happened and was pretty frightening, initial reports said she had a tumor in her head and signs that she had lung cancer. I really havn't been able to know everything, not that I'd understand anyway I'm no doctor. All I know is my mom was very sick and it didn't look good.
Well last night or this morning however which ever way you look at it she passed away. Due to responsibilities and circumstances I was unable to go see her before she died, which I may forever regret. My sister says she was there when she went so she wasn't alone. I just hope she understands why I wasn't there. And I'm sorry.
My mom was only in her 50's way too young to die so soon. She did drink too much and smoked a lot which is I'm sure the ultimate contributing factor. Both her parents, my grandparents passed away the same way, though my mums death just seems to be so sudden, I mean we/she only knew about her illness not months ago, it's just so quick that it's going to be a while before It fully sinks in.
My family live in Australia but I have only been there a couple of times the past 9 years, three odd months I stayed before I moved to Thailand. So I really hadn't seen my mom much during that time, in fact I don't think i'd spent a great deal of time with my mom since I was about 14. So for the past 17 years I honestly can only remember maybe birthdays and some Christmas' that I remember seeing mom oh and when she got married to her new husband Daryl. He's a good guy too.
When I lived in California I'd call my mom regularly just to see how she was doing and so on, but the past 2 years living in Thailand I really hadn't called that much only a few times, it saddens me now that I didn't make more of an effort, it's sometimes hard in Thailand to do so though, well no it's not, I just don't know why, I hate using skype to make calls and wish I could have used my vonage here, maybe you can I don't know. I miss vonage but not as much as I'll miss my mom.
*Vonage is a VOIP phone service in the US.
I do have a lot of fond memories of my mom during my childhood, and she did cook a mean lamb chop! But I guess that's true of most mum's you love you mom's cooking because that's what you grew up with right. She was a good looking woman too when she was younger, I remember one time riding the bus home and she was waiting for me and the other kids on the bus were like "wow is that your mom" lol although it's hard to picture in my mind back then.
She wasn't the worlds greatest mum though, but who is right, she did mean well and she had her own problems and it would be selfish of me to expect her to be. But I do know she loved me very much as I did her.
So i'm going to go back to Australia for a short while if nothing else to say good bye to my beloved mom and be there for my sister. My sister is a great person one of only few people I can truly confide to and am proud to have her as a sister. Even though we fought like cats and dogs when we were young, though don't most brothers and sisters do that?
To Daryl my mum's husband and companion, I'm sorry for your loss as much as my own, and my dear Aunt's my mothers sisters who i've always thought of as my second mothers I love you too and hope that my mothers death will bring everyone in the family closer together. To my Dad, I love you dad your always there for Natalie and I, and even though you've been estranged from mom forever I've never heard one bad thing you've said about her, your a true gentleman and a great friend and I know you loved mum too.
Having this blog is like a diary for me, mostly of the deviant nature though it's also more personal than a normal website. Here I write with my heart and today that heart is broken due to the loss of my mother. With the thousands of viewers each day this post will probably be read thousands of times. And if you do read this thread I hope you'll take away with this how important family is, if you havn't spoken to your mother or parents in a while, give them a call, tell them you love them, you never know when you won't have that opportunity again.
I love you mom I hope the pain now is gone and you are in a better place, one day i'll be there with you.