The Demonization of “Seeing Prostitutes”
The act of seeing a prostitute in Western countries has been demonized, sometimes even more so than the act of prostitution itself. In many states in the U.S., if you’re caught soliciting a prostitute, you’ll be arrested and charged, and your name will appear in the Newspaper and on the Newspaper’s website. Then when anyone Google’s your name, the first thing to come up will be the article about you trying to see a whore. Many feminists sympathize for the “poor working girls,” who are simply misguided, while vilifying the evil “Johns” who take advantage of the women by buying sex from them. You pay her $300 for her to tell you to “hurry up,” and yet you’re the one taking advantage of her – oh the irony!
Things are different in Thailand; prostitution is more accepted and you certainly don’t have to worry about getting arrested for bar-fining a girl. We’re not usually judged for it over here, but we’re judged even more harshly by Western women than men who solicit prostitutes in their own country. Because now we’re not just taking advantage of a misguided woman, we’re actually taking advantage of a very poor and uneducated, misguided third world woman. I’ll have to remember that the next time a bar girl begs me to spend the night with her.
I’ve been targeted numerous times by groups out there who try to shame me for “the proliferation of the prostitution scene.” It’s as if I tell people that it’s wrong NOT to see prostitutes, or that it’s wrong to treat them well when you do see them. Some of these people act as if the prostitution scene in Thailand exists only because dirty old white men come here and throw their money around in ways that uneducated women simply can’t refuse. This implication is mean spirited and outright false.
1) I find that to be an insult to Thai women; they’re not robots and they are acting on their own free will. To imply that they don’t know any better is another way of calling them stupid. Most of them are much more calculated than feminists give them credit for being, usually saving hordes of cash by the time they’re done in the profession.
2) The prostitution scene in Thailand has a long history that has only recently included white men. The facts are that most of the “Johns” throughout the country are Thai. But feminists, and those quick to point the finger, live in some sort of vacuum where they think that Soi Cowboy and Walking Street are the only prostitution havens in Thailand.
Feminists, and basically all Western women, have always been on that side of the issue. But lately, I’ve noticed a new group of people quick to throw stones at any man who would dare see a Thai prostitute: foreign men! These guys fall into different categories, I’ll list them for you.
1) The dating guru who insists that it’s STUPID and PATHETIC to have to see prostitutes since it’s so easy to score here with an unlimited amount of non prostitutes. In other words, “do as I do or you’re dumb and sad.” I’ve had my successes in the dating scene here, but I don’t see what that has to do with the prostitution scene.
2) The man who takes care of his wife’s Thai daughter from a past marriage, as his own, and is repulsed by the thought of her selling her body to foreign guys when she becomes of age. I don’t blame the guy for not wanting to see it happen to the girl, but it won’t happen if he does a decent job as a parental figure in her life. If he fails as a parent, and she does become a prostitute, it’ll be his fault, not the fault of the “johns” she sells herself to.
3) The “fragile heart” guys, otherwise known as: walking contradictions. These are the guys who fall in love with the first bar girl they buy sex from. They become so consumed with their “love,” that they have to find a way to justify the fact that she was s’ing and f’ing 20-40 guys per month for the past year or two. So, for whatever reason, some of these guys start to visualize the johns as being the villains. It doesn’t sound like a particularly healthy way of handling the situation, but that doesn’t seem to stop them. The craziest thing about it is that they themselves were a john when they first met the girl. They find a way to separate that from the evil guys who did the same thing as them, just without the falling in love part.
4) The guys who are just “above it all.” Most of these guys are outright liars, the rest of them are just judgmental assholes. Finding guys who have never truly seen a prostitute in their entire lives, especially those who have been to or live in Thailand, is even more rare than finding a guy who never had an alcoholic beverage before. I suppose there’s a few of them out there, but there’s a lot more guys out there who simply say they’ve never seen a prostitute, despite that being a lie. And if a guy saw a prostitute even one time in his life, and vows that he never has and is repulsed by anyone who does or has, that is just a sick and twisted way to go about things. Now, for those few guys who truly have never seen a prostitute, good for them. I’m not going around saying that they’re prudes or pus$ies for not doing it; I actually don’t care. I wouldn’t judge them either way. But if they are going to judge me, simply because I don’t adhere to the same moral codes as they do, then they can go and f**k themselves!
5) The religious type. If a guy’s religious code dictates that I’m a sinner, then so be it. Prostitution is known as the “oldest profession in the world.” It’s also pretty damn harmless compared to some more obvious “sins.” I don’t judge anyone for being very religious, that’s their prerogative. But I just wish some of them wouldn’t so often judge others that just don’t happen to follow the same religion with the same passion. Some of these guys are quite the hypocrites, because they’ve seen hundreds of prostitutes, but since that was “before they were saved,” that doesn’t count anymore.
I’m not even going to discuss the group of people out there who makes it like any “john” is basically a rapist sex trafficker; obviously those people need more help than most prostitutes. But that is basically the final end of the spectrum of people who hate on anyone who has ever been with a prostitute before. We’ve gone through all of the groups, and they all have two things in common: they’re judgmental and intolerant people.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion on the matter, and to follow through in the way they see fit. This is a blog about Thailand, geared to men who live here or visit here. So it’s not a topic I can ignore, and quite frankly, I wouldn’t want to ignore it. Just as everyone can have their feelings on the topic, I have mine as well. I don’t judge others who don’t see me eye to eye on it; it’s just my own personal code. And that is, that seeing prostitutes is like drinking alcohol – its fun sometimes, but it’s best to do it in moderation, and it’s important not to become completely addicted to it. Like alcohol, if you’re not somewhat cautious, there can be some downsides. But if you can stick to the limits that you set, you’ll be fine.