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The Demonization of “Seeing Prostitutes”

The act of seeing a prostitute in Western countries has been demonized, sometimes even more so than the act of prostitution itself.  In many states in the U.S., if you’re caught soliciting a prostitute, you’ll be arrested and charged, and your name will appear in the Newspaper and on the Newspaper’s website.  Then when anyone Google’s your name, the first thing to come up will be the article about you trying to see a whore.  Many feminists sympathize for the “poor working girls,” who are simply misguided, while vilifying the evil “Johns” who take advantage of the women by buying sex from them.  You pay her $300 for her to tell you to “hurry up,” and yet you’re the one taking advantage of her - oh the irony!

seeing prostitutes

Things are different in Thailand; prostitution is more accepted and you certainly don’t have to worry about getting arrested for bar-fining a girl.  We’re not usually judged for it over here, but we’re judged even more harshly by Western women than men who solicit prostitutes in their own country.  Because now we’re not just taking advantage of a misguided woman, we’re actually taking advantage of a very poor and uneducated, misguided third world woman.   I’ll have to remember that the next time a bar girl begs me to spend the night with her.

I’ve been targeted numerous times by groups out there who try to shame me for “the proliferation of the prostitution scene.”  It’s as if I tell people that it’s wrong NOT to see prostitutes, or that it’s wrong to treat them well when you do see them.  Some of these people act as if the prostitution scene in Thailand exists only because dirty old white men come here and throw their money around in ways that uneducated women simply can’t refuse.   This implication is mean spirited and outright false.

1) I find that to be an insult to Thai women; they’re not robots and they are acting on their own free will.  To imply that they don’t know any better is another way of calling them stupid.  Most of them are much more calculated than feminists give them credit for being, usually saving hordes of cash by the time they’re done in the profession.

2) The prostitution scene in Thailand has a long history that has only recently included white men.  The facts are that most of the “Johns” throughout the country are Thai.  But feminists, and those quick to point the finger, live in some sort of vacuum where they think that Soi Cowboy and Walking Street are the only prostitution havens in Thailand.

Feminists, and basically all Western women, have always been on that side of the issue.  But lately, I’ve noticed a new group of people quick to throw stones at any man who would dare see a Thai prostitute: foreign men!   These guys fall into different categories, I’ll list them for you.

1) The dating guru who insists that it’s STUPID and PATHETIC to have to see prostitutes since it’s so easy to score here with an unlimited amount of non prostitutes.  In other words, “do as I do or you’re dumb and sad.”  I’ve had my successes in the dating scene here, but I don’t see what that has to do with the prostitution scene.

2) The man who takes care of his wife’s Thai daughter from a past marriage, as his own, and is repulsed by the thought of her selling her body to foreign guys when she becomes of age.  I don’t blame the guy for not wanting to see it happen to the girl, but it won’t happen if he does a decent job as a parental figure in her life.  If he fails as a parent, and she does become a prostitute, it’ll be his fault, not the fault of the “johns” she sells herself to.

3) The “fragile heart” guys, otherwise known as: walking contradictions.  These are the guys who fall in love with the first bar girl they buy sex from.  They become so consumed with their “love,” that they have to find a way to justify the fact that she was s’ing and f’ing 20-40 guys per month for the past year or two.  So, for whatever reason, some of these guys start to visualize the johns as being the villains.  It doesn’t sound like a particularly healthy way of handling the situation, but that doesn’t seem to stop them.  The craziest thing about it is that they themselves were a john when they first met the girl.  They find a way to separate that from the evil guys who did the same thing as them, just without the falling in love part.

4) The guys who are just “above it all.”  Most of these guys are outright liars, the rest of them are just judgmental assholes.   Finding guys who have never truly seen a prostitute in their entire lives, especially those who have been to or live in Thailand, is even more rare than finding a guy who never had an alcoholic beverage before.  I suppose there’s a few of them out there, but there’s a lot more guys out there who simply say they’ve never seen a prostitute, despite that being a lie.  And if a guy saw a prostitute even one time in his life, and vows that he never has and is repulsed by anyone who does or has, that is just a sick and twisted way to go about things.  Now, for those few guys who truly have never seen a prostitute, good for them.  I’m not going around saying that they’re prudes or pus$ies for not doing it; I actually don’t care.  I wouldn’t judge them either way.  But if they are going to judge me, simply because I don’t adhere to the same moral codes as they do, then they can go and f**k themselves!

5) The religious type.  If a guy’s religious code dictates that I’m a sinner, then so be it.  Prostitution is known as the “oldest profession in the world.”  It’s also pretty damn harmless compared to some more obvious “sins.”  I don’t judge anyone for being very religious, that’s their prerogative.  But I just wish some of them wouldn’t so often judge others that just don’t happen to follow the same religion with the same passion.  Some of these guys are quite the hypocrites, because they’ve seen hundreds of prostitutes, but since that was “before they were saved,” that doesn’t count anymore.

I’m not even going to discuss the group of people out there who makes it like any “john” is basically a rapist sex trafficker; obviously those people need more help than most prostitutes.  But that is basically the final end of the spectrum of people who hate on anyone who has ever been with a prostitute before.  We’ve gone through all of the groups, and they all have two things in common: they’re judgmental and intolerant people.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion on the matter, and to follow through in the way they see fit.  This is a blog about Thailand, geared to men who live here or visit here.  So it’s not a topic I can ignore, and quite frankly, I wouldn’t want to ignore it.  Just as everyone can have their feelings on the topic, I have mine as well.  I don’t judge others who don’t see me eye to eye on it; it’s just my own personal code.  And that is, that seeing prostitutes is like drinking alcohol – its fun sometimes, but it’s best to do it in moderation, and it’s important not to become completely addicted to it.  Like alcohol, if you’re not somewhat cautious, there can be some downsides.  But if you can stick to the limits that you set, you’ll be fine.

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About Chris

Chris founded LivingThai.org in 2011 and has received over 3 million visitors. He has lived here for over 10 years and speaks reads and writes very good Thai.

9 Responses to The Demonization of “Seeing Prostitutes”

  1. jack May 4, 2014 at 4:00 pm #

    Goodcall. The social system of the country is the exploiter not the client as these nasty Fems would have you believe.
    I saw a euro business women living and working in Bangers interviewed recently she said western women have lost their femininity and need to regain it and Thai women were desirable for this reason. I couldnt agree more.
    I,m not as forgiving as you about religon fuck them its all about guilt and judgement pitting imaginary beliefs against one another and subservience the root of all evil are these hateful cunts.

  2. lexluthor May 9, 2014 at 1:00 am #

    Good read Chris. In a sense all women are prostitutes to a degree. In the U.S. a girl will sleep with you if you buy her a car, a house, designer clothes, i.e. be her “sugar daddy”. Some you even have to marry and essentially sign half your net worth and all your freedom away. You are taking BIG risks to get married and have kids with the typical western primadonna… The point is, who is more a prostitute, the one who sleeps with you on the 1st 2nd or 3rd date or the one you have to date 3 weeks – 3 months, be accused of “date rape” if she changes her mind the day after, the one who charges $1000 and leaves after 20 minutes. Western feminists are the biggest prostitutes on the planet.

  3. Brian Sumpter May 9, 2014 at 4:55 am #

    That #5 is a hoot! Thai girls feel a little bad about Buddha if they are in the profession. I have come up with the perfect solution: Wat Bar Girl! They are all welcome to come be nun. No recriminations, just the blessings of Buddha!
    There would have to be some rules, but I’m not sure what they are, the idea needs work. On behalf of you work for farang in Thailand, I donate the idea to you, Chris!

    I came to get married, so I didn’t really want to marry a bar girl. I ended up with one by accident, I met outside of her bar after closing, and we went dancing. She just want to keep working in BKK so I moved on sadly. She was hot.

    In the US, you can’t even kiss them, so why bother? They are ugly too. I came with a pre-disposition against getting involved with one, having no idea they were all over the place. Really.

    Western Women are going to be mad for any reason they can think of, because they can no longer control you, simple as that. They say “She’s just after your money”, when that is exactly what they are after! Thai women are a 10x better deal!

    Anyone that comes to Thailand to be judgemental has come to the wrong country. Its bad karma. If I had a daughter, I simply would not raise her in Thailand, and it I had to, I’d make sure she stayed in school a long time. But if she ended up a rich prosititute, I would just want her to be safe and happy.

    As John Lennon/Elton John sang: “Whatever gets you through the night, is alright”.

  4. Brian Sumpter May 9, 2014 at 5:06 am #

    As side note Chis. I publicized your site on Huffington Post. Its mainly run by women and I have been blackballed by HuffPo. The stories won’t load on my computer. lol!

  5. Rocky May 9, 2014 at 5:27 am #

    All women want 3 things: Age, Looks and Money.

    Not necessarily in that order…

  6. Kim August 26, 2014 at 7:03 am #

    I am a chick, I love Thailand, it would not be Thailand without the bar scene. I stumbled upon this website and was glad for it.
    Most of my time is spent in Krabi and Chiang Mai, provinces not exactly famous for the bar girl scene. Thanks to Chris and other members I have found some really lovely, chill bars to enjoy.
    I am not a lesbian, I prefer men while also enjoying both sexes. I do agree plenty of western women need to do a re think on their attitudes however more and more are becoming receptive to the idea that sex is alot of fun and the world is our playground

    • Dannyboy6 November 29, 2014 at 4:24 pm #

      Wow Kim , You Rock Women in USA , are more concerned with their Rabbits( vibrators) and their little toy size dogs, it’s like we don’t matter anymore, Thanks for being you, and I hope it’s Contagious … Enjoy Thailand.

      • Kim November 30, 2014 at 1:22 pm #

        Thanks, 27 days are dragging till I land in Krabi. Phi Phi Long Beach for NYE…booked already 😉 then Chiang Mai, Laos,(Luang Prabang is something else in Asia!) for 8 nites.
        And lastly 4 nights in Siem Reap, my first visit, looking at getting my hands on some old school rocket launchers and jumping on an ultra light flight over some temples, I am staying just off Pub Street, so there should be alot of fun to be had

  7. Pplover May 27, 2017 at 5:01 pm #

    Great post.

    One thing I can never get my head around is the way that feminists characterise women as defenseless children while men are evil predators. Completely bizarre. Are women equal to men or not in their eyes? If they are then surely women who work as prostitutes should be seen to be making their own life choices.

    The other thing you mention about men attacking men is so true. This just seems to come out of the pick up artist/mens rights movement. These men seem to be obsessed with a silly cod psychology that rigidly categorises men into alpha, beta etc. They seem to see interaction with women and sex as all about validation and conquering their own low self esteem through manipulating as many women as possible top sleep with them. Possibly they are just young and immature. Of course you should find it relatively easy to meet attractive young women when you yourself are a young attractive man without paying! But I bet their tune will change as they age. Will they really want to be limited to ugly old women when they are in their 50s? I doubt it! They will be on the first plane to Pattaya.

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