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Different Thailand online dating experiences

Yesterday I got an email from a bloke who lives in Bangkok and has been living there for a few years now. I wanted to tell me about his experience with online dating on the Thai Dating Sites. I wanted to share the email just to show that everyone can have different experiences, we all have different budgets and ideas of what we want to get out of using an online dating service, so read the letter and let me know your thoughts.

I enjoyed your post on "how to lay in 3 hours" but as one the "wimpy" guys who don't sleep with the girls on the first date I'd like to describe my own experience of online dating in Thailand.
First a little background I've been living in Bangkok for about 3 years. I'm 40 though can pass for 35, average looking but in good shape. My Thai language skills are reasonably good at this point. I have been playing the online dating quite actively for about two years and in fact I had one serious gf whom I met online. I like to keep track of all the girls I contact and the outcomes.

In average month I select and contact about 100 girls. From my early experience girls who are very young or have hot pictures have been a waste of time probably because they have so many guys after them or are looking for guys younger than their Dad;), so my target group are mostly average looking office girls in 25-30 age range whose profile been recently active. Of 100 contacts I get average about 40 replies and then follow up with real time chat or phone call. Of these only about 5-7 result in real dates. Not sure why success rate is so low Many girls are online just cause they are bored, or to practice their English. Most also of course talking to multiple guys and they go hot and cold depending on how they are doing with other guys Also bkk is huge many of them live and work an hour commute away from me. For a date I usually pick a nice trendy restaurant. I know I don't need to impress (unless she had a foreign bf before hehe) but cost is not big deal for me and I am really looking for a romantic connection and long term potential as maybe also the other "wimpy" guys you mention in your article. For us online dating is not about saving money at all. When I want just mechanical sex relief I can go to a soapie massage.

In regards to sex on first date vs waiting I have tried bringing them home on first date. Usually they do come but when I try to escalate sexually (touching kissing etc) almost all of them resisted and then made some excuse to leave and go home. Strangely after they storm out of my condo they then call next day like nothing has happened. One girl kept calling me for a month after the failed seduction 😉 On the other hand if I wait until second or third date to take them home I am usually successful in getting them to have sex without much drama. So given how much work it is to get these dates i don't want to ruin it and so never take them home on first date. In the West a date without sex means you go home and sleep with your hand, however this is Thailand 😉 so if I am feeling horny after the date I jump in my car and hit ratchda for one of the soapies. So waiting is not a problem for me at all. Ironically it is easier to be a gentleman here 😉

The biggest downsides of online dating are (1) it is time consuming to contact so many girls just to get a few dates and (2) I have never been able to get a better than average looking girl from these websites. If I want an 8 or a 9 then I go to a high end soapie or one of the g-clubs and pay up. Bkk has so many well to do decent foreign and Thai men that a really attractive girl has better options that putting her picture on a notorious site like ThaiCupid. But perhaps I am doing something wrong here and missing opportunities?

Now reading this letter first thing that came to my mind was Gary (fake name of author) has some goals in mind. He has his goals and knows what he wants, he wants to bed Thai girls yes but enjoys the fun and intimacy of dating over a quick F*&k. So what about his odds. Guess 8 or 9 new ladies every month is pretty good. Boils down to time really is this all he does, doubt it, and Bangkok is a large city you say goodbye to the whole day by going on just one date.

Personally I feel from reading the letter and I don't know anything about him that Gary's only problem is closing the deal on the first date. And in my experience this all comes down to choice. Choice for the girl if she wants to go there and your Choice in picking the right girl to go out on the date. There are heaps of ways to talk to a Thai girl to see if she is open to the idea, typically i find Thai girls who have never been with a Farang are easier because they already have it in their mind to do it with a Farang, it's just up to you to convince her that it's you but for something like ThaiCupid I'd be looking for girls in office jobs, they are bored and want the excitement. A Thai girl will make up her mind if it's you before you meet up with them so try to find out if they have made up their mind before you go on the date in the first place. I have a 90% success rate on first date sex with Thai girls I've met offline because I found out first if they are open to the idea online. Questions like "have you ever kissed a Farang before?" are good opening questions for finding this out. That said they all knew I had a girlfriend so maybe that helps...I wonder if Gary is being open with them too?

Is Gary missing opportunities as per his original question? I don't think so. Man these girls go round and round and round I know girls who had used ThaiCupid for years and never met a sole then for some reason she chose me and it was on. Others are serial daters that keep getting f*d and thrown away these are the girls that are used and sometimes harder to get with quickly. So No Gary your not missing any opportunities and some of those better looking girls on the site arn't really higher than a 7, I've rarely meet girls that actually look better than their pictures.

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About Chris

Chris founded LivingThai.org in 2011 and has received over 3 million visitors. He has lived here for over 10 years and speaks reads and writes very good Thai.
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