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Guys Who Date Damaged Thai Women

Damaged Thai women are a magnet for guys suffering the White Knight syndrome, these women have a past, a past that makes them emotional nutcases that can drag you down. So damaged they are from past experiences, extreme paranoia and jealousy ensue to the point that they are unable to be happy. Funnily enough though damaged Thai women are great to date because they have their guard up so high the only thing they seem to let you in to is to bed.

Women scarred by previous relationships are perfect because they already know the deal, they are less likely to be walking around with their heart on their sleeve opening you up to good times and an even easier exit, want to get rid of her, just be a complete asshole and she'll leave herself, she's already left someone else, you're just more confirmation that all men are assholes.

The problem with dating emotionally unstable women has nothing to do with the women at all, that's their problem, the real problem are the White Knights who need to validate themselves by targeting Thai women with emotional issues or ones who have histories of abuse, trauma or addiction then try to "fix them".

White Knights frequently have little experience with attracting or dating women and often try to compensate for a lack of game by adopting an antiquated and romanticized code of chivalry instead, with an emphasis on treating women with respect and deference. The White Knight has severe issues with self-worth; he feels that he has little to offer to a woman, so he hopes to prove his worthiness by “rescuing” her instead.

What’s Wrong With White Knight Syndrome?

A lot of you will likely be wondering why White Knight syndrome should be such a negative issue. After all, what’s wrong with wanting to help Thai women or treating them chivalrously? Wouldn’t Thai women appreciate a guy who treats them with respect, one who has a sense of empathy and compassion? A guy who wants nothing but the best for them? Sure he may be a little old-fashioned, but is there really anything wrong with that?

When you actually stop to think about it, The White Knight’s behavior is actually surprisingly misogynistic. It’s certainly not his intention; in fact, many White Knights would insist that they see women as being superior beings, so they couldn’t possibly be misogynists. And yet for all of their protesting, the White Knight’s behavior and actions are paternalistic in the extreme. By trying to come to her “rescue”, the White Knight is essentially denying that women be able to do anything for themselves and have to wait for someone else – the self-declared hero, in this case – to come to her “rescue” and “save” her from all of her troubles.

This kind of guy just makes me sick. For all of the White Knight’s supposed altruism, ultimately the story is all about him. White Knights are frequently manipulative or even controlling, in the guise of  “for her own good”; once again, he needs to maintain his position as champion, caregiver, defender and aide, lest he not only lose the role of “hero” and the sympathy and admiration that comes with it, but the reason for him to be there in the first place. It’s worth noting that White Knights aren’t actively abusive, just passive aggressive and clingy to the point of being almost smothering.

Of course, for all of his championing of the ill girl or emotionally troubled, real life inevitably sets in. As appealing as the fantasy is, the reality is that helping someone with emotional or physical trauma or addiction issues is never easy, simple, pretty or terribly glamorous. It’s messy, it’s ugly and it’s complicated. It means dealing with setbacks – not ones that are suitably-dramatic-but-easily-overcome, but ones that can undo years of work and struggle and devastate people emotionally. A White Knight rarely understands – truly understands – that chronic conditions are often permanent, and being the partner of someone with one means that these entail a lifetime of dealing with them.

When that realization finally sinks in, the addictive rush and thrill of the fantasy start to pale and the reality begins to assert itself. The White Knight then finds himself faced with a choice: abandon the fantasy and deal with the woman as she really is… or make up an excuse and eject himself from the relationship, only to repeat the process again with another suitably “broken bird”.

white knight

The Dangers of White Knight Syndrome

Interestingly enough, men with White Knight syndrome actually put themselves at risk for abusive or exploitive relationships. Because of their idealized view of women – and their partners in particular – they’re almost pathetically easy marks.

There are many Thai women out there who will look to take advantage of westerners, and a White Knight makes for excellent prey. Being drawn to Thai women in “trouble”, they’re suckers for false drama and tales of woe. Their need to “rescue” a woman often overrides their common sense and the idealization of their partner means that they’ll sublimate any sense of suspicion. Their need for acceptance and tendency to be conflict averse means that even if they do raise any objections or suspicions, they’ll back down right away rather than risk a confrontation. A skilled predator will manipulate the White Knight into fulfilling her needs, whether it’s for money, cars or land… and worse, convince him that it’s his idea in the first place.

Even if they don’t end up as the victim of a con or a thief, White Knights are especially vulnerable to emotionally abusive relationships. The initial thrill wears off and leaves them stuck in a relationship with emotional vampire, who drains the life out of him as he struggles to try to meet her needs. Her fears and constant need for reassurance can be alluring at first; after all, the White Knight loves to be needed and being able to assuage her fears will make him feel strong. Over time, however, that need becomes increasingly unreasonable and unmanageable; she goes from needing reassurance to requiring his presence at all hours. He will find himself making excuses for her to his friends; after all, it’s hardly her fault that she’s like this, she’s the victim of horrible circumstance and it’s his duty to help her… even as he slowly comes to realize he’s not allowed to have a life of his own.

Other unstable Thai women might take advantage of his need to please and fear of abandonment by using it to excuse her own bad behavior. It’s his fault she made a scene at the club because he’s being overbearing… or not attentive enough to her needs. It’s his fault that she cheated on him or still works in the bar because he abandoned her when she most needed him, so she had to find someone else to take his place.

White Knights often find it difficult to extract themselves from these sorts of relationships once they’re in them; Thai women are masters at using a White Knight’s sense of responsibility against himself. One of the most common complaints you’ll hear from a White Knight is “I can’t leave her, I’m afraid she’ll hurt herself.” And to be sure, threats of self-harm or even insinuations of suicide are a common way that Thai Women keep White Knights in line.

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About Chris

Chris founded LivingThai.org in 2011 and has received over 3 million visitors. He has lived here for over 10 years and speaks reads and writes very good Thai.

7 Responses to Guys Who Date Damaged Thai Women

  1. euro-dude November 12, 2014 at 11:54 pm #

    Well this article is a bit of a heavy slog into the nauseating co-dependency dynamic – fairly universal, and not just a Thai or rich farang / local girl issue. Article was a bit too long and whiny about White Nights, despite the good points about the manipulation – control dynamic … is the author a bit unsettled by their willingness to commit, rather than be a playboy?

    But at least this article is back to the realm of workaday male-female relationships … the previous article about the suicide guy was a bit too grim (mostly because of the images I think) … That could have been a much more positive story, e.g., the guy had so much passionate ecstasy with the Thai girl who stole all his money, he refused to exit Thailand, even at the cost of his life … as if to freeze his passion for all eternity. Like Romeo & Juliet’s joint suicide in Shakespeare, that sort of thing.

    For me, I have very fond memories of some girls who took some of my money (tho in modest amounts that don’t really bother me). Sometimes it is fun to be ‘manipulated’ by a pretty nude girl and I don’t mind paying the ticket price for the front-row participation.

    It’s good to face realities between men and women … the trick is to do so with a lighter, and more uplifting touch.

    And speaking of the lighter side …

    My Thai girlfriend had been looking on the internet at stuff about Thai girls in the movies … and she copied this and sent it to me, from a web interview with a Thai – USA porn actress called Koko Kitten. Koko said:

    « I really love to have my feet played with and worshipped. My spankable bottom and my ticklish feet adore attention! I’m a Thai kitten, and in Thai culture, it’s extremely taboo to have feet near the head. The closer your feet are to the head, the more disrespectful it’s supposed to be. So I bet something about that made me grow up wanting to rub my feet all over a man’s face. »

    Since getting her e-mail with this Koko Kitten quote I have asked my Thai girlfriend if this is some kind of hint about something, but all I get in response is giggles. Well I am open-minded … I will dig deeper into Thai ‘taboos’ and Thai girl fantasies …

    • ChiangMaiGuy November 20, 2014 at 11:03 am #


  2. jake November 19, 2014 at 9:40 am #

    fun to watch those guys … another group of self annihilating behaviors, so we don’t have to worry too much about them messing up our girls. amazing how many white dudes are such gignormous suckas.

  3. Brian Sumpter December 8, 2014 at 4:33 am #

    The “sukas” in this life are the ones who don’t know love is a two way street. I guess if a woman is just a hole to be paid as little as possible, this all makes sense.

    This sounds like a jealous rant from someone who has nothing to offer a woman. I suggest time in a Wat and some study of karma. But I guess when you live in a place where people jump off balconies on a regular basis, the people who are damaged are the ones who can’t get off the merry go round.

    • dom dom January 27, 2015 at 1:47 pm #

      you right bro! get out of the rat race.
      damage control is all about after the events, where as those not yet faced will come to know once they get it, bet they sure will have it no later than sooner!

  4. jimbo April 28, 2015 at 4:02 pm #

    damn this artical is spot on.one of my first rships with thai was one of these woman.i was inexperienced and didnt know the culture or the signs to look out for.she was so pretty was her looks that i was careless
    and blind.there were so many thkngs i should have noticed like all her friends were mainly men,she had a son,divorced,living with he mom in a tiny shack.i started to realise this girl craves too much attention and it was always about her but i was too smitten and brushed it off.then came the stories how her ex husband go addicted to drugs abused her,left her with a kid and sold everything of theirs.now she telling me how she slit her wrists because of a fight with her ex bf.anyways the idiot that i was still shrugged it off believing people can change and not long after we became official.thats when the real nightmare all started.she trusted me more now so everyday she just kept breaking my balls always complaining about how hard life is raising a child and stuck living at her moms like a prison.i tell her ‘only you can change your life’but the stupid non ambitious girl was too proud to work any shit job to provide for her son.one day i tried to break if off and she goes ballistic crying and threatening to kill herself.but just my luck the true white knight idiot (her ex bf)who she cheated on with me comes back her life and i was more than happy to let him sweep her off her feet.

    • Chris June 24, 2015 at 4:34 pm #

      Sometimes we have to make mistakes to learn from them. I hope your story helps others, thanks for the comment.

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