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Cheating ain’t what it used to be

Technology is killing the ability to cheat and not get caught.   If you have a wife or girlfriend determined to catch you, you will get caught, it’s as simple as that!  The syncing and navigating and browsing we do is recorded and shared with each device we use.  Our passwords get stored, sometimes without us knowing it, and there is almost always a way to get a log on what you’ve been up to. How's a guy supposed to get away with cheating on his wife in this day and age, HUH? You can't even send a d*k pic to your mistress anymore; what is the world coming to?   #SaveTheDickPic

I’m not one of these guys who think a man who cheats is bad, or that a guy who refuses to cheat is lame.  I’m not going to judge a guy one way or the other for that.  But it feels right to judge the guys who DO judge others for their monogamy or lack thereof.  Lots of guys cheat; it’s like the world’s national past-time.  Some guys cheat because they’re in sh*t marriages, but there are plenty of guys who have great marriages, who still can’t help but cheat.  It’s just what some of us do.  Turning down a hot piece is difficult, if not impossible.  If a guy looks down on others for cheating, it’s likely they just never get any opportunities to do the same.  If we all had to walk around while gorgeous women were begging to blow us, sooner or later most of us would “accidentally trip and fall into one of their mouths.”   But most married guys don’t get a lot of opportunities with hot chicks once they’re married, so it’s easy for them to preach monogamy.  When you have lots of options, monogamy can be extremely difficult.  And to be clear, if you’re in Thailand…you have lots of options!

So what do you do with all of those options?  Well some very strong-willed guys are able to ignore them. Some guys have told me they don’t cheat because they have children and they would never want to risk ruining their marriage, which could negatively impact their kids.  And that’s admirable, but I wouldn’t exactly call it the purest motivator.  They’re basically saying, “I would cheat, but I’m afraid of getting caught, because if I get caught all hell would break loose.”  I think that’s a totally understandable way of thinking, but it’s not the most noble.  It’s the same reason I don’t hack into banking databases and take millions of dollars – I just don’t feel like getting caught.  But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t accept some kind of bank error for a few million dollars if I had assurances that I couldn’t get in trouble for it.

Thai Cheat also

So if we poll 100 non-cheating husbands off the street and we get the truth out of them about the reasoning behind their choice not to cheat, how many truly wouldn’t cheat because they justwouldn’t do that to their wife? How many guys would actually turn down a gorgeous woman if they knew they could never get caught?  Maybe 5 or 10 out of 100, right?  The rest of the non-cheaters, don’t cheat because they either have no good options, or they’re afraid to get caught.  But again, if we’re in Thailand, we always have good options!  So outside of the 5 or 10% of guys who just wouldn’t cheat on their wife for morality’s sake, the only reason men here in Thailand wouldn’t cheat on their wives, is if they’re afraid of the consequences of getting caught.   Let me tell you, this is a fantastic reason not to cheat!!!

Getting caught cheating is rough, and if it happens things will never be the same.  If your wife catches you cheating, it’s like she has a permanent get out of jail free card to use with you, and it gives her the power to be damn near abusive with you for however long she sees fit.  And I’m not denigrating that sort of reaction from a woman; it’s sort of understandable.  The point is that if you get caught cheating by a wife who never gave you permission to cheat, it’s going to mess your life up for at least a little while.  And if children are in the picture, it’ll make things even worse.  It could be the ruination of your marriage, whether it ends or not.  Let’s put aside the women out there who “condone the cheating.”  I know there are some of them out there, especially in Thailand.  But it’s rare!  At least 9 out of 10 women will absolutely flip the F out if they catch their man cheating, simple as that.

We know getting caught cheating is pretty much off the table, in terms of things you’d ever want to have happen to you in your life.  But the consequences aren’t enough to stop many men from cheating, because  they always think they won’t get caught!  I think there was a time, maybe not even too long ago, when getting caught cheating was really hard to do.  Short of the woman you’re cheating with pulling some sort of fatal attraction nightmare, it wasn’t that hard to use motels and not give your home phone # out.  To get caught cheating 20 years ago, you had to do something as stupid as bringing your mistress or prostitute to your house while you’re wife is out.  Then all it takes is for your wife to get a stomach ache or to forget something, and in she comes 2 or 3 hours early, catching you red handed.   Most guys knew better than to make a mistake like that, so most guys got away with it, at least for a while.  Why am I talking the past tense?  Because in the past 10-20 years, technology has exploded, and it’s made it nearly impossible to get away with any type of consistent and long term cheating.

It is now so easy for your wife or girlfriend to know your every move.  You may think your wife isn’t the snooping type, but if you’re actually cheating, is it such a stretch to think she might get a little suspicious?  And if she’s suspicious, is it such a stretch to think she may invest a couple of minutes of her life to find out whether or not you are?  Yes fellas, that’s about all it will take.  Unless you’re the Ethan Hunt (Mission Impossible) of cheating, you have no doubt left some type of digital footprint that your wife/gf could easily find.

Why is it so easy to get caught cheating today?

By now, most guys know that when they surf the web, records of the sites they visit are stored and easily available.  Guys used to get caught simply by their girlfriend checking their web history, but most guys today are well aware of this.  So now they delete their history if they go to a prostitution site or even pull directions of girl’s apartment.  Or they don’t even make the mistake of using their shared home computer, and instead only use their password protected phone to do the shady stuff.  These ideas sound OK, but your wife or gf can get around them pretty easily unless you’re insanely careful.  Why?

A)  Your mobile web activity may very well be accessible from any other computer where you logged in to your Google account.  Most of us have things set up in a way where our mobile devices sync with our home devices.  So all of your devices know the pw’s you use and sites you go to on other devices.  This is because that is usually the auto setting of your devices and browsers.   So all it takes is forgetting to log out of some of your accounts while you’re using your computer at home, for your wife to get access to whatever you’re looking at.  She can even pull a list of every google search you’ve made.   Even If she’s not that savvy, she’ll see your recent google searches as they automatically populate when she uses a letter or two that you used to start a recent search.  She’s looking up “Bath soaps,” but before she gets to the “t” in bath, it automatically populates with “Bangkok soapy massage whores.”

B) It is so easy to forget to sign out of Facebook or your email every single time you use it.  All it takes is forgetting one time!  Or for you to accidently click “yes” on the auto password, which prompts you every single time you log in.  You’re bound to give your girl access to your social media pages and email sooner or later.  What would happen if she got in?  Oh, you delete all messages from girls?  What if it’s a new message?  What if it’s a sent message, or in the trash, or in the draft folder?  It would be a full time job to monitor all of this stuff and all of the settings for each browser and device you use.

C) You have a pw on your phone, so your wife can never get in, right?  She’s your wife; if you punch in that 4 digit code enough times near her, she’s going to pick it up eventually.   Think about how easy it’ll be for her to make out the numbers after seeing you punch them in over and over right next to her.

D Even if she doesn’t know your PW, do you leave your phone around?  On some phones and tablets, if she connects it to a computer, she can access lots of stuff off your phone.  Many phones still require the PW to do this, but not all.  And if you’re saving sexting pictures to your memory card, what’s stopping your gf from just taking the memory card right out of your phone and seeing what’s on it?

E) Do you have a cell phone plan on the same account as your wife’s?  Some providers give you web access to a portal for your account, a portal that most people don’t even know exists.  Through this portal you can see every call ever made from #’s on the account.

F) Do you use navigation?  It’s pretty easy to see everywhere you’ve been if you use it.

G) Do you have an Iphone?  Do you know that your Iphone actually records every place you take it! Yup it has a feature called frequent locations which takes a record of every place you go and what time you’re there.  And it’s easily accessible.  Like everything else, you can disable the feature, but most people don’t even know it exists.  It’s kind of hard to disable a feature you don’t even know you have!

H) Facebook messenger tells everyone exactly where you are.  Again, you  can turn this auto setting off, but by the time you figure out that you have to, there’s a new mobile version your phone automatically upgraded to without you realizing, and now it deferred back to the auto setting, telling everyone you talk to exactly where you are.  And even if you specifically set out to keep tabs of that function, new privacy destroying features come out quite often, and you’ll never be able to keep up with them all.   Your Skype account keeps every conversation too, and almost everyone has their pw remembered by Skype.

I) Pictures are a lost cause.  Google automatically backs up your pictures and it makes it damn near impossible to completely rid yourself of them.  You think they’re deleted, but then you find it again on your dropbox account or on your tablet which didn’t sync yet!   And if someone takes a picture of you, even if you don’t know it, it’s on Facebook and Instagram immediately after, and by the time you get home, your wife knows you were lying about where you were FOR A FACT!

J) IF your girlfriend or wife is really dedicated to catching you, she can go past just trying to get you to slip up on your computer or phone.  She can actually have spy tracking software installed on your phone.  This will enable her to open your mic and listen to whatever is going on around you, and to see every text and instant message coming in and out.  This software really does exist, and if it’s on your phone you won’t know about until it’s too late.

It really doesn’t end.  Everything you do online or on your phone is out there for your wife to find.  I’m a software guy; that’s what I do.  And I’m telling you, for me to have to put in the effort it would take to keep everything protected, it just wouldn’t be worth the occasional bang with a hot chick.  It’s my favorite thing in the world, but it’s not worth the paranoia, fear, and constant looking over my shoulder.

And for the morality cops out there who want to start something because I’m so horrible for complaining about no longer being able to cheat; just know that I live in Thailand.  The same country that placed 2nd in a poll of nearly 30,000 women, for highest percentage of women who cheat.  A whopping 59% of Thai women said they cheat!   Whether you want to admit it or not, the majority of adults have cheated at least once in their life.  I’m merely saying that mobile technology has made it much more difficult to get away with it.  Whether that’s a good thing for humanity or not, it doesn’t make me feel good to know that the devices I pay good money for are killing off all of my privacy.  See, there is a greater meaning to this than just the fu**ing and cheating; we’re throwing our privacy out the window in more ways than one!


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About Chris

Chris founded LivingThai.org in 2011 and has received over 3 million visitors. He has lived here for over 10 years and speaks reads and writes very good Thai.
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