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Are Thai Girls Flaky?

Have you been in Thailand for a while and find that Thai girls are flaky? Or is it that they are not interested in you?

After years of living in Thailand and racking up over 1000 dates with Thai girls of all ages it’s still pretty hard for me to make a solid statement about the flakiness of Thai girls. In general Thai girls can be pretty flaky however they rate below par compared to the flakiness of Californian girls but definately flakier than your average Australian chick. Other nationalities perhaps you could comment in the area at the end of the post.

This is my experience with Flaky Thai Girls

  • Younger Thai girls are flakier than others
  • The better looking she is the worse her flakiness gets
  • First date Flakers are very common
  • There are evil flaky bitches out there

An Evil Flaky story

flaky thai girls

I started chatting online at Thai Love Web to this Thai girl from Chaing Mai, a 2nd year student at one of the local Universities. I didn’t chat long before she handed over her phone number. Her picture was OK and I’m a bit of a sucker for the uniform so I decided to give her a call. She was one of those I speak English chicks with her hand up her ass but her attitude was edgy with a hint of sarcasm that despite her average looks peaked my curiosity.

After calling her and chatting for a while we set up a meeting for the next day at 4pm at I Like ice cream behind Chiang Mai University. Around 3pm the next day I call her to make sure we’re still on for the meet and she insists no problems. So, 4pm rolls around and with impecable timing I park my bike out the front of the ice-cream parlor and see if I spot her.

Can’t See her!

I figure she isn’t that far away and try to call but no answer so maybe she’s riding here. I’ll wait. 4:15 now and I can’t see her still so I try to call. This time she answers, awesome!

Chris: “Hey Kwan, where are you?”

Kwan: (sound of traffic on the end of the phone)”I’m at Nimman can you come here?”

At this point I’m already fealing uncomfortable because she’s changed the location and if you’ve read the secrets to online dating in Thailand you’d know that this is bad. Bad because she’s now changing things so she’s in control. Already out and with Nimman just down the road I thought sure I’ll come over there.

So I drive down to wawee coffee where she said she was at and she wasn’t there and her phone was now off I’m like pissed so I decide to just sit down have a drink because i’m now over it.

20 minutes pass by and she calls me back

Chris: “Hey Kwan, where are you?”

Kwan: (Absolute dead silince in the background) “I’m at home”

I’ve already had like 20 minutes to calm down
so I decide to listen to the story. Turns out she wasn’t at nimman at all she was picking up her sister around there and had to take her back home. Well it was a good story, convinced me, so like a total sucker when she tells me she’ll meet me at Starbucks in 30 minutes I start walking down the street.

30 minutes later

Chris: “Hey Kwan, where are you?”

Kwan: (people in the background) I’m just leaving now I’ll be there in 15 mintutes

15 minutes later

Chris: “Kwan, where are you?”

Kwan: (silence in the background) I’m on my way there soon and hangs up sudenly.

My final call an hour later

Chris: “Hey Kwan”

Kwan: “Yes”

Chris: “Go fuck yourself”


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About Chris

Chris founded Living Thai and author of the books Learn the The Thai Alphabet and How to make money in Thailand also the Blueprint for Living in Thailand. Chris started this blog with the aim of educating westerners on how to have the best time in Thailand, to make new friends and to vent his frustrations Chris is also fluent in both written and spoken Thai.

7 Responses to Are Thai Girls Flaky?

  1. Mark S December 2, 2013 at 2:46 am #

    Chris,

    Good article. Thai girls can be flaky at times and yes it seems to be related to how good looking she is, probably makes them think they can get away with it more (well they probably can get away with it).

    I’ve had a couple of similar experiences where a girl confirms she is meeting just an hour or so before and then gives me the run around at the last minute saying she’s on her way etc and then never turns up followed by some piss poor excuse about why she didn’t make it.

    Or waiting until 30 minutes AFTER we are supposed to have met before calling to say she can’t make it or she will be another hour late. What kind of bullsh*t is that?

    What annoys me is the ones who turn up really late and then when you reprimand them for it they say something like “Well I don’t finish work until 7pm so there was no way I could make it for 7:30pm like we agreed”. Well why did you agree to meet at a time you couldn’t possibly make?

    I agree with what you said never EVER let the girl change the date plans because you’ve just lost all control and power is in her hands. You end up running around after her and still don’t end up getting anywhere.

    Personally I would have called her just once or twice at most and then just went about doing whatever it was I wanted to do and if she showed up considered it a bonus. I think by calling them time after time to ask where they are it inflates their already huge ego’s and gives them a kick as they think you must be REALLY keen.

    That’s why I like to build dates around things I already plan to do so that having company is just an added bonus and if she doesn’t turn up I’m doing it anyway.

  2. Jeff December 5, 2013 at 1:46 pm #

    Hey Chris. I could NOT have sympathized with your situation more (although mine was a tad bit different). Long story short, I had plans to meet a girl at Terminal 21 one day back in June. We had originally set the time for 10am on a Saturday. However, I woke up a tad bit later than I thought and since I live outside of BKK, know it takes a little bit longer to into the city. So, I aptly rescheduled our meeting and told her 1 o’clock and she agreed. So, I get in within an hour (and actually before 1). So then I wait till 1 and am cool waiting a few minutes here and there. However, soon enough the minutes go by and by and now it’s 15 minutes and then 20 and then 30! All the while I’m texting every ten minutes or so and just tells me “Oh I’ll be there soon”.
    Finally, I’m like ready to send the strong message that if you don’t arrive in the next ten minutes I’m leaving and going home”.
    Then, she finally arrives and yet with typical Thai grace, doesn’t even apologize for being late and has a rather sullen look on her face. Needless to say, the lateness thing put me kind of in a foul mood and even during our meeting, she barely even said anything to me and instead, took to silence and even talking on her phone at one point!
    So finally it ends and we depart.
    The following week after no contact from her after that meet up, I email to tell what I REALLY thought of everything and low and behold, (and typically Thai), she deflects (just like Mark S was describing in his scenario), and says how “Oh because I moved the time up, how was she supposed to get ready in such a short time?” Are you kidding me??? I gave you TWO HOURS advanced notice and you live in BKK! Also only then in the email and because I addressed the question , did she claim that she “felt sorry for being late”. Hah. I’m thinking yeah right! You’re not sorry. The whole scenario left me only with what I’ve believed for a loooong time about some of the people here. They can be very self centered, inconsiderate, and only think about themselves…even if that means being late for someone else.

  3. ChiangMaiGuy December 11, 2013 at 1:55 am #

    This is just “Thai-ness’ Thais have a very low ‘ethical index’ and if something else comes up, say a better offer (which might include taking her dog for a walk), then YOU are toast!

    Happens but I tend to think Thais could not give a shit about ‘reliability’ or ‘honesty’ etc. etc.

    They care about there little Universe and YOU are ‘interesting’ if nothing better comes up

    often nothing better comes up and we get the ‘benefits’ so it’s not too bad :P

    ‘gob nai kala’

  4. Andyl December 11, 2013 at 3:34 pm #

    Why is there a complete lack of common sense among farang in Thailand? Any girl in Thailand who speaks good English is either a bar girl or someone who is either currently involved with an English speaking farang, or has been in the past. English speaking men complaining about Thai girls only being after their money. What do you expect? If you go to the USA, or UK and the only language you can speak is Swahili what kind of ‘hot’ chicks are you going to pull? Who the fk would be interested in someone that can’t even speak the language? Prostitutes will go for you if you pay them, and if you walk around wearing lots of gold and diamonds and drive a Ferrari then a few gold diggers will be attracted to your wallet. What makes you think Thailand is any different?

    Just as someone turning up to the USA or UK who can only speak Swahili you’ll be about as attractive as Aids. Thai girls grow up with Thai men, they think Thai men are good looking. They see farangs as farangs. Some find some farang good looking, but the state of the farangs I see in Thailand I doubt any girl thinks you’re good looking. Looking at the photos on this site I just see mostly losers, too right you should pay. Western women don’t want you either, luckily for you Thai’s think $1000 is a lot of money, so your wallet is the only thing they’re attracted to.

    Stop criticizing what you think are Thai girls, because they are not representative of Thai girls at all. All you’re attracting is the dregs of society, just as the dregs in the USA and UK will go with whoever will finance their drug habit. You are not, and never will get the cream of the crop, you won’t even get their third league girls. At best you’ll get a future prostitute, I don’t care she said she goes to University, she’ll still be working in Pattaya six months down the line. So if you’re comfortable with either paying out for it, or exploiting possibly under-age girls (which could land you in jail for 40 years) then go ahead. Only don’t complain that these Thai girls can be flaky – you’re lucky they’ll even answer the phone to you!

    • A Thai Woman January 13, 2014 at 4:14 pm #

      Hey,
      Generalisation again lol. I speak pretty damn good English and I’m Thai. But no I’m not a bar girl and spoke it well since before I dated any westerner. All that did was probably improve my swearing vocab. That got a lot more creative lol.

      Anonymous.

  5. A Thai Woman January 13, 2014 at 4:09 pm #

    hello,
    I stumbled on to ur website by accident. My boyfriend and were discussing the prevalence of prostitution in our respective countries and I didnt know how to explain what a soapy massage was so I was trying to send him a link lol.

    Well, this website sucked me in like a black hole coz i became very interested in hearing what western men had to say about my kind, thai woman. I must say I’m quite scandalised.

    I am 100% ethnically Thai but I was educated in ur western style institutions to university level. I must say that generalisations such as the ones on this blog is simply ignorant. This is not a country of just bar girls, prostitutes, gogo dancers and loose women. And the behaviour these groups exhibit is not the behaviour of every Thai woman. I would never ask you for your money. No I don’t hate men, in fact I love them. Nor am I like a western woman. I don’t expect you to pay for all dates. If I want to be with someone then I will want to do things for them be it house chores or cooking or whatever little things that I think will make them happy. I do them not because I am being subservient but I do it because it makes ME happy that they are happy. I think as a race this much is true and you were correct in ur assumption. We don’t see it as anti feminist to make ur life comfortable.

    This blog has shocked me to the core. In one of ur articles u said there is no such thing as a Thai woman saying she wants you because western men are warm and they don’t stray. That is exactly the reason I haven’t dated a Thai man in a long time. is it so very wrong for me to expect my man to not stray if I bahave like a reasonable human being? Thai culture seems to imply that it is and Mia Nois are simply the norm and only seems to get worse with the more affluent class. it just saddens me that you all think we are just like pieces of meat to use and discard at ur pleasure and not worth the respect. I have always thought, from my experience that you men were fair and respect us but clearly if so many of you think we re just holes for you to fuck then is this what all western men always thought of me?

    I don’t doubt that many of you have been scammed or hurt but I think you shld start remembering that this is a 2 way street. partly the reason for such things is because ur lack of respect for us. Why shld we respect someone when they have none for us. If you want to look for a “good Thai girl” then maybe you should stop looking in bars and dating websites hunting for a one night stand. I agree that my country has shortcomings but the problems you are facing might be because you are only looking at one demographic.

    I sincerely hope that this is not the opinion of every western men because that makes me feel dirty for having dated them. I am not against prosititutions or establishments that support them but Thailand is not one big brothel.

    Anonymous.

  6. Joe January 16, 2014 at 2:41 am #

    1) Are Thai girls flaky? Interesting thought.

    2) Are Western men flaky? Interesting thought, too.

    I don’t think it’s advisable to generalise when it comes to sexual or cultural differentiation, or anything else for that matter.

    Generalisations are nothing more than notions formed by inference from specific cases, and accordingly, it shouldn’t be considered reasonable to draw conclusions from them or make judgements based upon them with respect to any entity, be it individual or group, just for the sake of convenience.

    Whether by “flaky” you mean “flighty”, “foolish”, or “unreliable”, I’m not sure. In any case, there should be no difficulty answering both of the questions above.

    If one were to generalise, it could possiblly be concluded that Thai girls can be flighty, foolish, and unreliable — all three. But of course that, by definition, would only be a “notion formed by inference from specific cases” — i.e. personal and related experience if you like.

    By the same token, it could be concluded that Western men can be flighty, foolish, and unreliable, if generalising. Yet again, purely based on personal and related experience.

    The upshot is that your question is irrelevant. And so is mine. People are people, and although every culture has its own idiosyncrasies, basically we are much the same the world over. Whether black, white or brindle; male, female, or hermaphrodite, we all have the same needs, whichever “land” one is in.

    How one goes about meeting those needs is the issue. And Thais, men or women, are no more “flaky” than the legion of Westerners who go to Thailand to have their needs met. I’ve met hundreds of them — mostly men; some old, some young — and many of them have at times shown signs of being flighty, foolish, and unreliable… especially in their dealings with women.

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