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You know you’ve been in Thailand too long when….

Into my fifth year of living in Thailand I'm finding myself becoming more and more how could I say "Thai"? Things you do in Thailand that you find normal are not what normal is back in the west. I'll do stuff now that would just seem bazaar to friends and family back home. Here's a list of some of the more funny ones. Please if you have something to add reply with a comment at the bottom of the page.

You know you've been in Thailand too long when....

You know you've been in Thailand too long when....

  • When you see people waiting in line your immediate reaction is to go to the front of the line
  • You start getting cravings for eating rice
  • You've figured out how to walk down Beach road without getting hassled by Ladyboys
  • You know how to drive a scooter with 3 passengers
  • The only time you use toilet paper is to wipe your face during a meal
  • You no longer believe what anyone tells you
  • The family car is a Honda Wave
  • You go to 7/11 for dinner
  • You now prefer your Mangoes green and covered in sugar and chili
  • You can drink Sangsom without getting a headache
  • You pick your nose in public
  • Beer only tastes good if you put ice in it
  • After finishing your meal you start planning what the next meal will be
  • Nothing you own is real, it's all counterfeit
  • After visiting 100 Thai nightclubs you can no longer hear out of one ear
  • You drive a motorbike one handed while chatting on Line
  • You arrive an hour late to any appointment and make no excuses as to why
  • You start telling your girlfriend her skin is too dark
  • You ask people all the time "What day is it?"
  • You havn't ironed a shirt in years
  • You put chilli sauce on your pizza for flavor
  • You no longer care about spelling or grammer
  • You start saying Na at the end of every sentence even if you're speaking English

Got any more funnies to add? Please use the comment section below.


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27 Responses to You know you’ve been in Thailand too long when….

  1. Jim May 18, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

    You trade notes with your friends on which bar girls are good in bed.
    You don’t get jealous over Thai girls.
    You don’t care if your buddy screws “your” bar girl.
    You stop playing games with any Thai girls.
    You say “Ching Ching” and “same same” and “Mai pen rai”.
    You don’t get road rage when you dive.
    You drive your motorbike on the wrong side of the road, against traffic, and don’t worry about it.
    You know where all the police helmet checks are and the shortcuts around them.
    You drive your motorbike without a helmet.

  2. jack May 18, 2013 at 9:06 pm #

    You scream “Aroi ” in a public place loud enough for the entire nation to hear after every 2nd mouthful of a delicious meal.
    And you understand that when eating shell you should,nt announce ” Hoi Aroi ” in most circumstances.
    You speak pidgeon english to other farang.
    You exclaim strange Thai sounds “ooooiiiiiiii” just like a Thai.
    You accept Buddism and go to temples sometimes, back home you would, nt go near a chuch or anyone who attended one.
    You watch and laugh at Thai T.V. variety shows, even though they r crap.
    When you,re ontop of your Thai girl you fantasize about hot Thai female celebrities, you know them all and can pronounce their full names.
    You begin to look down upon Cambodians and Burmese.

  3. Alex May 19, 2013 at 4:25 am #

    <>
    yes!!!

  4. Bam May 19, 2013 at 9:44 am #

    you can learned good and bad way then do and act and treat each other in the good way better (I believe that you knows but maybe you don’t care).

    In some case can safe your life, for example

    you drive your motorbike on the wrong side of the road, against traffic, and don’t worry about it. (not good idea)

    In Thailand or everywhere in our the world some person have bad and good behavior, we learned it BUT I believe good person they are always good behavior anyway.

    Better to do and treat each other in the good way then we both happy, all right!

    Some of the list it’s not funny.

    Best wished

  5. Krypton May 20, 2013 at 3:18 am #

    You notice the differences of the price
    You try to listen to the craps whether they’re talking about you or not
    You watch Thai soaps
    You use your charm too often

    • Chris May 21, 2013 at 1:49 am #

      It’s true, i’m getting secretly addicted to Thai soaps.

  6. geesid May 20, 2013 at 8:12 am #

    Driving on sidewalks is part of normal driving
    You get a Thai name
    You know more than just 3 meals
    Watching Thai voice over English movies is interesting to watch

  7. Ben May 21, 2013 at 1:18 pm #

    you don’t get upset when the waitress brings you a green curry with beef instead of a red curry with duck and you think it’s normal.

    you just go straight at the security check in the skytrain without opening your bag because nobody cares if you carry mangoes or a biological weapon anyway.

    you realize that sometimes it’s better to speak english even if you are fluent in thai

    you avoid to get tanned at all cost

    you read the first 6 words of Bam post and you be like rolling your eyes and skip to the next post

    • Chris May 21, 2013 at 6:38 pm #

      This is so true. I’ll always start with English.

  8. egius May 23, 2013 at 9:02 am #

    Haha!! Good stuf 🙂
    I’ve been living in Koh Samui for half year this winter and I especially noticed quite many of the mentioned things myself – but you have them even more. And I started doing something like saying ‘Na’ at the end of every sentence – after ‘communication’ with thai girls 🙂 great blog! keep up the good work!

    • Chris May 23, 2013 at 7:21 pm #

      lol I do the Na thing too!

  9. Bam May 24, 2013 at 5:27 pm #

    Chris, you read this news.

    2 หนุ่มออสซี่ เมาซ่าส์! กร่างทำร้ายนักท่องราตรีทั่วหาดป่าตอง เจอรุมประชาทัณฑ์เลือดอาบ
    จนได้รับบาดเจ็บ ขาหัก – ตาแตก กำลังนั่งกอดกันอยู่ในสภาพที่มีเลือดไหลอาบร่าง ทราบชื่อ คือ นายแอนโทนี ซาวน์เดอร์ อายุ 26 ปี สัญชาติออสเตรเลีย ได้รับบาดเจ็บขาข้างซ้ายหัก ส่วนอีกคนคือ นายแบรด ทรับ อายุ 30 ปี สัญชาติออสเตรเลีย สภาพตาด้านซ้ายแตก มีเลือดไหลตลอดเวลา อาการสาหัสทั้งคู่ นอกจากนั้นใกล้กันยังพบนายจอห์น เฮงชา อายุ 28 ปี สัญชาติอเมริกัน ที่ ถูกนักท่องเที่ยวสัญชาติออสเตรเลีย ทั้ง 2 คน ตีด้วยของแข็งเข้าที่บริเวณเหนือคิ้วด้านขวาเป็นแผลแตกฉกรรจ์ มีเลือดไหลอาบร่างเช่นเดียวกัน

    Before read this detail I hope very much that not you. God help – not you!
    Maybe he read your blogs before came to THAILAND and misunderstanding some things.

    Did you know them?

    I saw the picture was really pity!!!

    Maybe he looked down too much about THAILAND AND THE THAI’S.

    I mean they don’t RESPECT!!! – that why they showed behaviour like this.

    Anyway, i wishes them all the best and get better as soon as possible.

  10. Scott Mallon May 26, 2013 at 2:48 am #

    You stop in front of escalators to decide where you’ll go next.

    You think nothing of jumping the queue at 7’11.

  11. jim May 31, 2013 at 9:03 am #

    Many of the above list I would say no, but that maybe more due to location.
    Rice, if I never saw or ate rice again I would be a happy man. For many years it was a 140 km drive to buy potatoes, thankfully a small Tesco/ Lotus has opened only 27 km away. For years I had to live on rice, sticky, boiled, fried, green and black rice, hate the stuff, but still have to eat it with most meals.

    Riding the motorbike while on the phone, no. Don’t have a phone, only one other farang within a 20 km radius, no one to phone.

    Don’t ask what day it is, as I don’t know what month it is. Large beers must have ice, know nothing about the bar girl scene. Don’t think we have an Iron and never put Na on the end of a sentence, probably because they speak Lao here. Jim

    • Chris May 31, 2013 at 3:56 pm #

      I guess that makes me curious, where do you live?

      • jim May 31, 2013 at 4:40 pm #

        North about 50 km of the Emerald Triangle, up against the jungle border near Lao. Village is Ban Sang Hom, Amphor district Bunthairk. You know my name
        , just Google it and Thailand. Jim

  12. Bam June 1, 2013 at 7:17 am #

    Hi CHRIS! How are you?
    +
    +

    Dear jim

    Stay the place or wherelse that make you happy and respect, accept it every wherelse sure not same like where you come form…

    But I saw many European like to eat a lot RICE and CURRY very much.

    For me not matter where I live … I love it and take care them place seems like belong to me. Every time when I must leave the place my tears always come out because I love it.
    If I don’t like then I avoid it don’t distroy or give a shit and took/take what I like BUT don’t hurt someone and leave with the nice way. Sometimes you cann’t change it or them BUT you must change yourself in some case. (in good way)

    I hope you are more happy now.

    best wishes to you.

    (I just guess that you stay at ISSAN somewhere, right?)

    • jim June 1, 2013 at 8:39 am #

      Yes Issan, on the Lao land border near the Cambodia border, this is my home and there is no better place I have lived. I will live and die here and my bones will rest in the local Wat.
      Not a life for most, but once you adapt, live in the extended Thai family way, attend the village gatherings, your kids play with the other village kids, you become part of the village. At some point you stop being the farang and become their farang. Jim

      • Chris June 1, 2013 at 11:29 am #

        I think the idea sounds good and I wouldn’t knock it. It’s awesome you found the place you love in Thailand everyone has theirs.

        • jim June 1, 2013 at 12:02 pm #

          Think I decided it was my Shanghai on the first night I stayed here. The wife on the other hand thought I had lost my mind.Though she is from this village, she was sent age 9 to live with an Aunt near BKK to attend school and University. We had come to do the Buddha blessing, she hated the place, couldn’t even understand the language, Lao speaking. All she wanted to do is get back on the plane to Australia. Little did she know, once I set my mind to and idea I go for it all out.
          Shes now reverted to a village life and happy with it.

  13. Mr M June 1, 2013 at 12:51 pm #

    You have struck up a convo with the cleaning lady while taking a piss at a public toilet and thought nothing about it.

  14. stevemc June 1, 2013 at 8:08 pm #

    Love this post Chris, very funny but you forgot some..

    You ignore the red traffic light and always jump the green
    You become really cheap, you think a 100 baht meal is a rip off
    You say thank you by clasping your hands together
    all the best…steve

  15. Sam Wilko June 3, 2013 at 1:51 am #

    “You no longer care about spelling or grammer.” Says it all really. BTW what’s ‘grammer’? Is that more than a gram?

    • Krypton June 3, 2013 at 3:59 pm #

      A misprint maybe?

  16. Steve July 22, 2013 at 1:04 am #

    You start pointing with your lips.

    When you have a 3pm appointment you leave home at 3pm regardless of the distance you need to travel.

  17. Ron January 4, 2014 at 8:14 pm #

    You complain that beer was 5 baht cheaper 2 years ago.
    You put so much chili on your food it’s all you can taste.
    You prefer the bum gun over toilet paper.
    Start shaking with your left hand.
    Have dreams all in Thai.
    You say “arai na?” when you didn’t catch something, speaking to falang.
    You become funnier in Thai then you ever were in English.
    Moogata is a weekly thing.
    You start to crave Thai food over foreign food.
    Stupid stuff happening around you is normal.
    Packing 2,000 bahts worth of groceries on your motorbike is common place.
    It hits 20 C and your wearing a coat.
    Spending more than a 100 baht on one meal seems absurd.
    The list can go on and on.

    Thanks Chris. Really enjoying this website. Came here once a few years back and only read one article. Been stuck on here now for the last 3 hours. It’s 3 a.m. and I should really get to bed. On to the next one.

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